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Sandman

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Everything posted by Sandman

  1. Sandman
    We had a contractor at the house tonight, we had agreed on the price a couple of weeks ago. As he was finishing up, my wife and I went inside and she asked "Should I ask him how much I should write the check for?". I said WTF, don't ask him, you practically asking him to raise the price. Write the check for the amount we agreed upon. She goes out and asks him "So how much was it?" To his credit he looked at me and said "uhhh, whatever we said the other day". Fucking hell.
  2. Sandman
    They eat their own shit half the time, so I think that ship has already sailed.
  3. Sandman
    I think the dog food I buy is the real deal. The dogs haven't complained, so I think I'm good.
  4. Sandman
    Can we call the cops on people who use the term "furbaby"? If so, I'll put those fucks on speed-dial.
  5. Sandman
    I don't understand people that act like she did. I guess she's used to crying and getting her way. Probably got her out of a ticket or two. Guess the worm has turned now.
  6. Sandman
    100% fact. Why didn't she just follow the rules? I don't get people like that.
  7. Sandman
    That's not at all what I said.
  8. Sandman
    Ah, he didn't exactly say he'd take the dog. But still, saying "You're not going to like it" comes across as ominous to me. They both seem like they suck.
  9. Sandman
    So the guy that filmed the dog lady posted on his own facebook page that, be fore he started filming, he threatened to take he dog from her and busted out dog treats to lure it away. WTF?
  10. Sandman
    I carried 600 lbs of tile from my truck bed to my room the other day, my back and legs were trashed.
  11. Sandman
    After 47 years, I'm gonna guess she'll pass on that.
  12. Sandman
    He said he was 33 and ready to do something else. Wanted to go out a winner.
  13. Sandman
    Can't believe Cejudo retired.
  14. Sandman
    Wife woke me up at 0545 with her tossing and turning. When I stirred, she said "Oh, are you up too?". I said I am now. She told me she'd been awake for an hour and she'd "Never get back to sleep now!". Ten mintues later, she's sawing logs. After staring at the ceiling for an hour, I said fuck it and got up.
  15. Sandman
    You think he's the type that only calls his friends when he's out of the house or his wife is away? I have a couple of buddies like that. Every time he calls me, he's at 7-11 or going to the store. He knows she'll give him the stinkeye if he calls from home, so he has to wait until he's alone because he doesn't want to hear her bitch. I couldn't live like that.
  16. Sandman
    I believe "Junebug" is the prefered nomenclature. At least, it was for the kid I knew.
  17. Sandman
    After 6 weeks of holding it down alone at the office, the higher-ups have implemented a weekly WAH rotation. Yesterday was my first day and holy shit, it was great. Almost a tad boring, as I ran out of work to do and had to wait for the people in-house to load up the queue. So I'm doing pretty good as of today.
  18. Sandman
    This is the same university that had an alum admit to paying for abortions and to bring whores to football players. I just assumed that paid porn subscriptions are part of the faculty recruitment package.
  19. Sandman
    I was told today that I'll be starting a weekly WAH rotation on Monday. So I've got that going for me. My wife's been working from home for a month, can't wait to tell her I'm gonna start banging my new coworker.
  20. Sandman
    About 3k. That includes the demo and a new floor for the bathroom and the area in front of the vanity. I've been told it's a good deal around these parts but WTF do I know?
  21. Sandman
    The shower pan is leaking so the whole thing has to be torn out and redone. And I'm only 90% white, I think that means I get a pass or something? 4 acres and a chicken? Maybe mediterranean folks don't count.
  22. Sandman
    We have a contractor coming over at noon to talk about our shower remodel, the time is 9:30 and I'm brushing my teeth. Her: Did you go to the bathroom already? Me: ....Yeah. Why? H: Well, I closed the lid to the toilet, just so it looks better for when he comes over. M: You know, I might have to use the toilet again in the next 2 and a half hours. H: Haha, yeah I guess. M: Also, I know how to raise and lower the lid without any help. H: Laughing stops. Tone intensifies.
  23. Sandman
    I did an event with your wife's V as well.
  24. Sandman
    It's about 70 miles NW of OKC, in the middle of nowhere.
  25. Sandman
    My ex sister-in-law went to rehab in Cushing. She's much better now but supposedly, Cushing is a great place to score some drugs. /CSB

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