I think another big reason that younger guys are staying out of the dating game is because you can no longer escape your fuck ups. Send a text that misses the mark? Shared with friends or worse, on tiktok or twitter. Make a bad outfit choice? Photographed or recorded and shamed online. Make a move that is later determined to be predatory (whether it actually was or not), you're buried alive. At least no one knew in the 80s and 90s when I struck out with some rando chick at the mall.
My nephew has to be an incel, and I don't mean he has a shitty or entitled attitude. He's 32, morbidly obese, doesn't work, lives with his grandfather. He's got some kind of auto-immune thing going on and is currently on short term disability but my dad said he's gonna try to get it extended. He just lays around all day, playing video games and eating. He has no desire to do anything else, that I can see. I don't know if he's ever touched a titty in his life, much less gotten laid. I feel bad for him but he shows no interest in actually living a real life. I was never a player and never had great luck with the ladies but you'd better believe I was going to fucking TRY.