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Sandman

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Everything posted by Sandman

  1. I was told that once you hit 50, going to Branson is mandatory. Are you saying I've been lied to???
  2. We've been discussing vacation options and I found some good flight deals to Chicago in Sept/Oct. She says that will interfere with our trip to Branson in December, which makes no sense, but whatever. I drop it. She comes back 10 minutes later and proudly exclaims that she found EVEN CHEAPER flights to Chicago.....in February. I said would you like to take a stab at why they might be so cheap? It took her a minute but she figured it out. I then asked why going 2 months before our Branson trip was bad but going 2 months afterwards was ok and she had nothing. I think it was because going to Chicago is my idea and not hers, which makes it somehow less good.
  3. If a sporting event is on free/OTA TV, why do I need a cable/dish subscription to watch the stream online? If I was at home watching TV, I could watch it free. But because I want to watch the stream online, I need to be paying hundreds of dollars a month in cable fees??
  4. I got a decent quote recently, but they want to double my wind and hail deductible to 2%. Fuck that shit, I'll stay where I'm at for now.
  5. Got to work today and I hear a woman in the hallway say to someone "You working hard or barely working?". First, she got the saying wrong, it should be "hardly working". Second, it's 7:30 in the fucking morning, nobody is working hard yet. Most people don't even walk in until 7:55.
  6. At Costco today, the wife is looking at a zip up jacket: "Oh look, it has a lid" It has a what now?? "I mean a hood!"
  7. My buddy and I were talking about Jim Croce and how great he was and it fucking irks me that my ex-wife is the one who really got me into his music. So every time I start up the playlist, the words "fucking bitch" slip out under my breath.
  8. About 12 or so years ago, our HR lady "retired" after word got back from one of her many conferences she would attend. The company called and asked that she not return because she would show up to the buffet spread they provided and instantly make 3-4 plates of food to take home to her husband. She would do this every time she went to one of these things and I guess they finally had enough of it. She was way past her retirement threshold (state job) and they told her to quietly GTFO.
  9. Working at the county jail years ago, sometimes you'd get assigned to the medical clinic, which was super cush. Some of the guys would get bored and the best prank was when you'd wait till the officer on watch would step out for a minute, then put Vaseline on the pod office phone receiver and sneak into the nurse's station. Once the officer got back at the desk, you give him a call and wait. "13B, this is Watson---FUCK!!!!". I always looked at the phone when I picked it up, in case some dirty-eared fucker had been using it, so I never got hit.
  10. My homeowner's insurance went up another $500. My house is around 50 years old and I'm paying $3700 a year. My coworker (we live in OK and are in different counties) told me he pays under $2000 for his nearly new house, so I got an online quote from his place. $3550 for them. He said his girlfriend has a bigger, newer house and pays $2100 with Progressive. I got their quote and it was $3111. I got an online quote from Amica, $6700!!!! What the actual fuck??
  11. We got married at my mother in law's church, where she was a board member for many years. Cost was $0. Everyone involved was old friends of my wife's family, they were eager to help for next to nothing. The cake was either free or less than $100, I can't remember. Catered BBQ for the reception, nothing fancy. Nazarene wedding, so no booze or band or anything. The biggest expense was her dress, which was $600. I think we did the whole thing-wedding and reception-for under $5k. Just celebrated our 15th anniversary, so I guess we did ok.
  12. They upgraded the lighting in the bathroom at my office building. Brand new LEDs everywhere. Now it looks like when you're in a strip club at closing time and they flip on the lights and tell you to GTFO. Everything looks run down and trashy and you're wondering why you're in there.
  13. When I met my ex-wife (1999), she didn't have a bank account. She would go buy money orders to pay all of her bills. Why I didn't acknowledge this red flag and walk away shall ever remain a mystery.
  14. Hey, jealousy.
  15. Iowa's coach is Tom Brands, who wrestled at Iowa. Their former coach Dan Gable was an ISU guy, though.
  16. I think niche sports will have to be funded by a major benefactor. OSU wrestling just got a big $$$ commitment from the guy that owns Paycom, he's a former wrestler and just wants to see the sport thrive. I bet there's a rich Clone out there that won't let ISU cut wrestling.
  17. I can siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
  18. I flew to London a couple of weeks ago and this was available in the in-flight entertainment, I was so thankful. Watched 4-5 eps on the way there and finished it during the return flight. Of course I got all choked up, thought about my grandfather a lot. It never gets old.
  19. I'm going out of town on Tuesday. Yesterday I ordered a few last minute things on amazon, nothing life or death but some shit I wanted for the trip. Everything I ordered was listed as being delivered today, which is why I ordered the stuff. Fast forward to this morning and everything is now delayed until after I'm leaving. Fucking amazon. All that shit will be returned when I get back.
  20. I think another big reason that younger guys are staying out of the dating game is because you can no longer escape your fuck ups. Send a text that misses the mark? Shared with friends or worse, on tiktok or twitter. Make a bad outfit choice? Photographed or recorded and shamed online. Make a move that is later determined to be predatory (whether it actually was or not), you're buried alive. At least no one knew in the 80s and 90s when I struck out with some rando chick at the mall. My nephew has to be an incel, and I don't mean he has a shitty or entitled attitude. He's 32, morbidly obese, doesn't work, lives with his grandfather. He's got some kind of auto-immune thing going on and is currently on short term disability but my dad said he's gonna try to get it extended. He just lays around all day, playing video games and eating. He has no desire to do anything else, that I can see. I don't know if he's ever touched a titty in his life, much less gotten laid. I feel bad for him but he shows no interest in actually living a real life. I was never a player and never had great luck with the ladies but you'd better believe I was going to fucking TRY.
  21. People bragging about how they "saw the totality!" sound exactly like the "I saw that band live!". People. Yeah, you and millions of others. You ain't special.
  22. For dinner last night, we decided on these ham and cheese croissants we get from Costo, they're really good. As I got out the box, I noticed they could be cooked in the air fryer, and the wife said "Let's try that out". I don't use the air fryer, so I'm not up to speed on how accurate the settings are but I noticed the temp she had it set on (390) was higher than what is suggested on the box (350). I pointed this out and she said "Meh, I never change the temp on this", so I just left her alone. After removing the charred remains of the croissants from the air fryer, we had a grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner.
  23. Sat down at my desk and got a call at straight up 8:00 on the dot. What in the actual fuck, people??? I need to ease into this bullshit.
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