Your reputation precedes you. And I'm a fucking sucker for falling for it.
Right now, with so little futbol going on other than MLS, it's basically YouTube and Wikipedia. Once the euro season starts back up again in August, pick a league out of the German Bundesliga, English PL, Spanish La Liga, Italian Serie A, or French Ligue 1 (Bundesliga, EPL, or La Liga probably have the most world cup bound players I'm guessing) and just watch and learn.
I got into the sport when my oldest daughter was born because EPL coverage was the only thing on at 6am after I'd already been awake for 3 hours.
I got into it pretty quick - there is something to be said for commercial free, guaranteed 2 hour and no more time commitments when it comes to sports. And it truly is a beautiful game when you get past the stupid theatrics.
And the emotion and tension you see in these high profile league games, whether it's a promotion battle or a battle to win the league.... Multiply that by 10 and you start to get close to World Cup levels.