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Judge Roybeanbag

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Everything posted by Judge Roybeanbag

  1. Judge Roybeanbag
    Deplorable!
  2. Judge Roybeanbag
    Backyard used to be The Branding Iron before the Backyard. Although I did like the Backyard. Saw the Neville Brothers and a few other great bands there...
  3. Judge Roybeanbag
    Before we get too high and mighty, Austin has had a giant pile of shit catch fire before too. https://www.statesman.com/story/news/local/2013/03/19/compost-fire-to-cost-austin-at-least-2-million/9796357007/
  4. Judge Roybeanbag
    Running amok in the streets.
  5. Judge Roybeanbag
    SIAP. https://www.kxan.com/news/business/tesla-uses-new-state-law-to-sidestep-austin-regulations-at-gigafactory/
  6. Judge Roybeanbag
    Nah, someone threw away one of Ghandi's old mixtapes.
  7. Judge Roybeanbag
    Mode V or gtfo.
  8. Judge Roybeanbag
    I had only 3.
  9. Judge Roybeanbag
    Maybe he’ll drift off and choke on his tongue.
  10. Judge Roybeanbag
    Bound to be some surly lawyer that can class action this, right?
  11. Judge Roybeanbag
    Why are any of you stupid motherfuckers lifting anything you don’t have to, at your age? Make someone else do it, or pay someone else to do it. I mean, I have to lift stuff like rearranging furniture, or other cuck things a husband has to do, but at 60 my whole MO is avoiding hard work and unnecessary injury. I must just be lazy.
  12. Judge Roybeanbag
    Apparently an MRI for your prostate is a 'special' procedure and I'm having a hard time finding a location to schedule one in a timely manner. They must know I'm a giant asshole and need a bigger machine or something. Seriously though - I've checked 3 different places on recommendation of my Dr. and they all said 'oh we only do that procedure at x facility, and that would be mid-May at earliest. Like Longhorn Imaging for example, I'd have to drive to San Antonio. Touchstone only does it at their far North Austin facility. What's so different about it aside from the dye?
  13. Judge Roybeanbag
    Well yeah, cuz getting molested or fleeced makes all your other problems seem minor in comparison.
  14. Judge Roybeanbag
    If you mean excavating most of Cedar Park, Leander and Lago Vista, that might help. Otherwise not so much.
  15. Judge Roybeanbag
    Your parents were weak defective individuals. That's why we have peanut allergies and wokeness. I assign blame to everyone except me, personally. BTW this wasn't a personal attack, I'm sure your parents were fine, strict mormon vegans who never partook.
  16. Judge Roybeanbag
    So he went to shit... pigs ate him, and he went to shit again.
  17. Judge Roybeanbag
    I did this to my son and his friends in the backseat numerous times. Lock windows, turn heat on high/recirculate and let it rip.
  18. Judge Roybeanbag
    I went to school with a girl who had a limp from polio, and had a special shoe. Her go-to move when anyone made fun of her was to take that special shoe foot, and stomp the shit out of the offender's toes. She was a tough kid. Played tackle football with us sometimes.
  19. Judge Roybeanbag
    Still not enough to wash the vomit off the street!
  20. Judge Roybeanbag
    Some pea sized hail for a bit, high winds and about an inch of rain overnight. Doubt anything got damaged.
  21. Judge Roybeanbag
    I waffled on whether I should make that the point or not.
  22. Judge Roybeanbag
    They spelt it “haild”.
  23. Judge Roybeanbag
    Well I'm driving down the Ranch Road, Carrying quite the heavy load Dodging spandex cowboys On their pedal powered toys When I crest over the hilltop, Down below there's quite a flip flop The Hill country’s become rather mild There's a rapey fucking peacock going wild. Sing that in your Willie voice. Long live the peacock, He's as loud as a Texas stuffed sock Proclaiming he's as Texas as can be Truth is he's a fraud Money is his God His plumage is meant to fool you and me But fool me once, Fool me twice I hear 49 states are quite as nice You'll catch me on the outside Watching that peacock chase the ride. Fuck that peacock.
  24. Judge Roybeanbag
    It’s a crazy world. Peacocks running down the highway. I had to write a quick tune.
  25. Judge Roybeanbag
    No, not OK, I’m in Texas.

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