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Judge Roybeanbag

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Everything posted by Judge Roybeanbag

  1. I went to school with a girl who had a limp from polio, and had a special shoe. Her go-to move when anyone made fun of her was to take that special shoe foot, and stomp the shit out of the offender's toes. She was a tough kid. Played tackle football with us sometimes.
  2. Still not enough to wash the vomit off the street!
  3. Some pea sized hail for a bit, high winds and about an inch of rain overnight. Doubt anything got damaged.
  4. I waffled on whether I should make that the point or not.
  5. Well I'm driving down the Ranch Road, Carrying quite the heavy load Dodging spandex cowboys On their pedal powered toys When I crest over the hilltop, Down below there's quite a flip flop The Hill country’s become rather mild There's a rapey fucking peacock going wild. Sing that in your Willie voice. Long live the peacock, He's as loud as a Texas stuffed sock Proclaiming he's as Texas as can be Truth is he's a fraud Money is his God His plumage is meant to fool you and me But fool me once, Fool me twice I hear 49 states are quite as nice You'll catch me on the outside Watching that peacock chase the ride. Fuck that peacock.
  6. It’s a crazy world. Peacocks running down the highway. I had to write a quick tune.
  7. I was try to remember when KS and Derka had a thing. No joy in my memory. Hell not much joy anywhere else either.
  8. 4F? More like 10 F’s !
  9. I thought it was Frank Stallone, but didn’t want to put out the @YGIFS bat signal.
  10. Mowed the front yard and it was so dry and dusty with pollen and leaves under the oak tree my nose is stopped up and I can’t smell anything now. I’m gonna go dig the shirt out of the hamper that I wore to crawfish boil last night and sniff it like a pair of used panties.
  11. Or incorporate Dotard and make it Dullard.
  12. According to the other graffiti, there is also a pupuseria.
  13. I read the top line as "1 hr Nacho Bar... (fart sound)"
  14. Why do some lids to contact lens cases have little braille bumps indicating which is right and left? Not like I can put them in in the dark.
  15. But, but, there’s no tree there!
  16. Years ago our babysitter made pop tarts for the kids and forgot to check the toaster setting (it was on dark). When the resulting flames appeared, she threw a cup of water on the toaster to try and put it out 😱. Luckily the worst thing to come out of it was having to buy a new toaster.
  17. Yeah I was thinking, that list almost reads like the porn move credits you could actually see after the scrambled porn you watched on cable when you were a kid.
  18. Try one of the old wooden causeway bridges to Padre Island. You couldn’t steer.
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