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Judge Roybeanbag

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Everything posted by Judge Roybeanbag

  1. Judge Roybeanbag
    I’ll watch it, but it’s like watching the neighbors fucking. At least SOMEONE is doing it. Honey can you clean the binoculars again please?
  2. Judge Roybeanbag
    I have a hard time getting on board with cinnamon chili vs decaffeinated door to door salesmen, sorry.
  3. Judge Roybeanbag
    Now I’m a cracker? That’s news to me. Oh well, welcome to the SEC I guess.
  4. Judge Roybeanbag
    I have no fucking idea why that capitilized the way it did, but fuck it. I’m inebriated and apparently vote for Canadian Nazis.
  5. Judge Roybeanbag
    It’s pretty simple, while we were schwinging our huge American dick over around the Greeks and the Caucus and the eastern Thrace, we sprinkled some piss in somebody’s cheerios, and he’s not happy about it. Well too bad. Ottomans are where us Neocon villains put our dirty feet.
  6. Judge Roybeanbag
    Nah man, he wears clothing.
  7. Judge Roybeanbag
    This whole campaign parade seems so Stephen Kingish. Buying their mom cigs, wearing clothespins on their genitalia….
  8. Judge Roybeanbag
    I got bit by a black lab. Still have a scar on my palm. Was trying to break up a spat between my dalmation and my sister’s lab over a chew toy. Bad idea. It didn’t latch on and try to kill me though. Looked kinda guilty afterwards. His name was Levar.
  9. Judge Roybeanbag
    Seems like Trumpistan(tm) doesn’t have a lot of target stores in the first place.
  10. Judge Roybeanbag
  11. Judge Roybeanbag
    At this very minute you can bet some of those 60 are trying to figure out how to murder or railroad the 4. Guaranteed.
  12. Judge Roybeanbag
    I don't know, but you can bet that Ken Paxton is investigating it (cough cough).
  13. Judge Roybeanbag
    Thanks Obama!
  14. Judge Roybeanbag
    Is there a 5th Avenue in SC? Maybe he will finally shoot a man in the face (himself) on 5th Avenue.
  15. Judge Roybeanbag
    I’m not sure that 12 month thing is right. She should have gotten the exemption at least starting the 2022 tax year, not 2023.
  16. Judge Roybeanbag
    I inherited the name Bernard from that old man. God bless him.
  17. Judge Roybeanbag
    Grandpa was a piece of work. I remember riding in his truck and the conversations. He was a medic in WWII. He would get mad when I told him he was a nurse. “I wasn’t a fucking nurse”. “Yes you were, I have your nurse bag right here”. “That’s a war bag, son.” Call it what you want, looks like something a nurse would carry. “ Look you little shit, you have no idea.” You’re right I don’t. Then we would pull into Praseks and eat. He may have been a nurse, but he was a badass.
  18. Judge Roybeanbag
    Jeez Louise man, that part about sitting on the corner of the bed. That was totally my grandpa in law. Sat there and said “you know all my friends are dead and gone”. I said no, I’m sitting right here man.
  19. Judge Roybeanbag
    Ok dad.
  20. Judge Roybeanbag
    Yeah no shit, I’ve had it easy compared to that.
  21. Judge Roybeanbag
    Actually I added that last part because I had to laugh to keep from crying. Aside from the pillow, the rest was all true, for real. January 2019. Man I was glad he passed before Covid hit, trying to do elder care during that would have been unimaginable.
  22. Judge Roybeanbag
    On the other hand that plate probably has high levels of lead and other contaminants on it, so we’re all good.
  23. Judge Roybeanbag
    Pulling the plug on my old man was tough. He couldn’t really communicate other than squeezing my hand. I sat and talked with him for a long while and asked him if he was ready. He was ready but didn’t want to say goodbye to his kids. Didn’t know how. I told him he had accomplished far more than I could ever hope for, raising our family, and it was time for him to rest. To go see my mom and his parents and all our old dogs. He slept pretty peacefully for a couple hours until I held the pillow over his face. Just kidding.
  24. Judge Roybeanbag
    Bulk trash pickup week in south Austin is fun. At least one dog pissed on it.
  25. Judge Roybeanbag
    As long as dipshits keep being dipshits this is what we get

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