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Judge Roybeanbag

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Posts posted by Judge Roybeanbag

  1. 2 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

    When the Kleenex "autoreplace" sequence comes unthreaded so you have to reach into the box to scratch and mangle the top of the stack in order to jump start the process, which then takes a few cycles to get back into the normal rhythm. 

    When you take a crap in the dark so you won't wake the wife, and you can't find the starting point on a new roll of toilet paper.

  2. 12 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

    Just last night, I went to an old reliable snack -- four saltines, each topped with 1/4 of a slice of american cheese from a cellophane wrapper.  Unwrap, fold over, fold over again, breaks into 4 squares of saltine-topping perfection.

    My gourmet version of this is to add a piece of hard salami and a small pickle slice.   Also love the pb&j version.

  3. 2 hours ago, kmac30 said:


    When I moved from NYC, I posted my used mattress on Craigslist. That was a dirty mattress that enjoyed some great times. I didn’t expect anyone to actually buy it, but figured why the hell not. Sold for $50. Some guy and his friends came and picked up. Watched them walk down the street with that old mattress and kept thinking it was a joke. His buddies had to give him shit for it.

    Well good on you for selling your used goo, unnamed sweat and pubic hairs to another human.  

  4. 17 hours ago, Stella Link said:

    This industry is a con job.  Margins on mattresses are high...lots of profit.  Most of these different retailers sell the exact same mattress with a different name.  That's why it's difficult to shop for a mattress from store to store.  Industry claims that mattresses can double in weight due to the accumulation of dust mites and dead skin cells are bunk.  Plus, the "replace after 8" is just a marketing spiel created by the industry to get people to replace their mattress sooner than it needs to be replaced, this creating more sales.  

    Aside from toilet paper being one thing we don’t buy used, nobody is going to buy a used mattress. That’s why new ones are so attractive 

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