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Judge Roybeanbag

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Everything posted by Judge Roybeanbag

  1. Judge Roybeanbag
    Yep, I spent my time in right field, figuring out just how big of a bubble I could make with hubba bubba grape. When that ball came my way, I was completely unprepared.
  2. Judge Roybeanbag
    I had nothing but open field and the falling safety just punched that loaf of bread right out of my arm. Story of my life.
  3. Judge Roybeanbag
    You can make it. Brown Cedar cut opened up about 15 miles down, with the last storm. It’s still about 4’ deep and you can’t drive to Mitchell’s Cut anymore.
  4. Judge Roybeanbag
    Whoops, but, but that would be like the dog catching the car, like you did with abortion. Go ahead, fuck around, find out.
  5. Judge Roybeanbag
    No, I’m the pope. You can find me in the pizza!
  6. Judge Roybeanbag
    I had a similar experience in football, I broke loose and was a step away from scoring a winning touchdown, and this motherfucker dove at me and punched the ball out. Summary of my life is like a fucking peanuts cartoon and I’m not Lucy.
  7. Judge Roybeanbag
    Ungawa!
  8. Judge Roybeanbag
    Kamala against shaved chimpanzees with brain worms, do that poll.
  9. Judge Roybeanbag
    lol yeah I was focused on getting to third, fuck everything else. And afterwards I let my teammates down. Didn’t even occur to me afterwards we wouldn’t have even been in the game if I hadn’t had that pitchers eye.
  10. Judge Roybeanbag
    Lol I have a story. A small town story but none the less. I sucked as a little league player for the most part. There was this one game, where I got it. I was 3 for 4, including a home run, and at my last at bat I hit a screaming triple down the baseline. I missed second base when I was running. I mean my feet just missed the bag I was going so fast. I got called out. I was ashamed and mad. You know what I did? I took my uniform to the coach and said sorry, I can’t do this anymore. You know what I didn’t do? Cry and whine and litigate second base, and say someone cheated. So yeah, baseball teaches lessons, and has been very very good to me.
  11. Judge Roybeanbag
    I don’t rely on guys who look like diabetic orange raccoons when I’m looking for advice either.
  12. Judge Roybeanbag
    Shit sucks and you were suckered, news at 10, Donald.
  13. Judge Roybeanbag
    It’s shit.
  14. Judge Roybeanbag
    The funniest thing I remember about that job is, at least at the Zeta house, is the cook staff prepared for the late night kitchen run. They had one “expendable” fridge, where if a couple girls managed to distract you long enough to get into the kitchen (I ain’t saying how) there were some leftover fruit cups and whatever hadn’t been eaten that evening that they didn’t care about. So I didn’t get in too much trouble if I was watching Letterman and laughing with some girl while two others were loading up on ranch dressing and carrots.
  15. Judge Roybeanbag
    I will say most of the normal frat dudes I had to square off with who got belligerent would back off and go on their way. But yeah there were a few self entitled fucks that I really couldn’t do anything about, given the only thing I was armed with was a 12” maglight and my mouth. The worst part of that job was shuffling dragworms on their way. I worked at the Zeta house down by Dirty’s for almost a year, and that was a beating, keeping them from sleeping in the parking lot. Also worked a 10pm to 6am shift at Greenwood Towers for a few months, the condo place. Geez. Good times. Back then I was buff enough. Now not so much.
  16. Judge Roybeanbag
    Eh it’s the same with other assholes. He came and picked a girl up, she at least was pretty much wasted at that point. All good, that was par for the course. Came back at like one or two AM. Girl is drunk as shit and needs to puke. I let her into a bathroom off the common area and she proceeds to puke in the toilet and pass out on the bathroom floor. Ok, I’ve dealt with that, all good. But no. Greg and his buddy have to piss. So they go in, straddle her and proceed to piss all over her and the toilet. No they didn’t rape her or anything, but still. Just fucking…. What’s the word I’m searching for here? Typical MAGA fucks.
  17. Judge Roybeanbag
    This particular one involved the Kappa Kappa Gamma house.
  18. Judge Roybeanbag
    I have a Greg Swindell story, from when I was at UT. Wasn’t pleasant and soured me on name brand athletes for a bit. Just as a teaser, my job my sophomore and junior years was working as a security guard at sorority houses. No shit.
  19. Judge Roybeanbag
    I vote for the “Port-a-Fundo Foundation” .
  20. Judge Roybeanbag
    And tripping on heather.
  21. Judge Roybeanbag
    Doesn’t really matter, the lie is already halfway around the world by that point.
  22. Judge Roybeanbag
    This. He’s a fucking loser, and is losing in grand fashion, for all the world to see. Hey Don, you’re a fucking loser.
  23. Judge Roybeanbag
    Depends. And maybe some more depends.
  24. Judge Roybeanbag
    If the Texas Democrat 'party' had any semblance of sense, they would make commercials to air in rural and suburban areas of the state, blaring about how under republican leadership, Greg Abbott, Dan Patrick and crooked Ken Paxton, state leadership has stolen billions of dollars from your schools and given them to cronies and 'big city' private, charter and magnet schools, while your children go to the same broken down underfunded public schools.
  25. Judge Roybeanbag
    Donald J Drumpf, grabbing immigrant pussy, because no other pussy is willing. So much winning.

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