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Judge Roybeanbag

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Everything posted by Judge Roybeanbag

  1. The thing about bidets is they don’t clean the fucking toilet. The lid and bowl still looks like a 76 truck stop nightmare because my wife refuses to use the toilet brush and some Clorox wipes after a few eruptions.
  2. If it was the Kristofferson version followed by Sunday Morning Coming Down then it might have been me, and I offer no apologies!
  3. Sometimes he gives himself the creeps.
  4. You’re almost describing the Republican Party.
  5. This is about the pope, not the poop. It’s all poop in this fucking reality.
  6. Bumping because, well just because. What a wonderful world.
  7. Those were Junk. Named junkers even!
  8. He defiled himself the moment he left satans scrotum and entered Fred the Nazis urethra.
  9. OK then, it was 200 metric fucktons!
  10. They usually try to recover it. By filling it with ping pong balls.
  11. Actually I read several accounts of this story and it was at their house in Florida. Her father was sleeping in bed, she was trying to get some scissors out of a tackle box on a shelf, knocked the gun off the shelf and it went off, shooting her sleeping father in the head. So not a fishing trip, but still pretty ‘fishy’.
  12. Lots of trash talking in this thread.
  13. And giant clouds of mosquitoes.
  14. Precisely. It’s always someone else’s fault.
  15. 3/4” so far here in south Austin. Wife is gruntled but not impressed.
  16. Somebody needs to take Jon Voight's pencil and stick it in his ear. To the hilt!
  17. If I’m not using local I go here: https://www.corad.org/
  18. Squash leaves? Pffft. Fuck that, I’ve been saving ValPack mailers for seven years.
  19. Abraham Lincoln and all that.
  20. Fixed it further.
  21. When in doubt just say "he entered a guilty plea, right?"
  22. I might eat the shit out of that now, but as a kid it was revolting.
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