The gig'em Gazette Presents:
This week in aggieland - The Valiant, Brave and never say quit Texum football team vanquished the top FCS school in the nation on the first step to the CFP and a National Title Appearance. For the full details of the amazing game and aggie team work don't forget to visit the king of knowledge on all things aggie football and deepinsider fun with The Loochinator.
Details are coming forth in regards to the aggie class action lawsuit against certain internet message boards, posters and other nefarious activities. I have it on good authority that the NSA and FBI have become involved and are now coordinating with Texas Rangers. More info coming soon.
While speaking with the FBI early this morning I got some very disturbing news. Based on what the Federal agent told me, a combined DEA, CIA, FBI and the Pontifical Swiss Guard has come together in regards to an international plan to promote t.u., denigrate the top national team Notre Domes playoff path and perhaps even a death attempt of a global authority of sorts.
In CRAZY news it might actually be linked to the bus incident of the McNeese State teenage homeless children being bused to the National Train and Military History mecca that is College Station. They were eagerly looking forward to meeting the aggie nation and watch the game when tragedy struck. Not all the specifics are in, but early indications and insider info is telling me the bus went off the road in the swamp on the drive in. Redasses, having heard about it via short wave and CB radio mounted rescue operations. The early evidence indicates the use of aggie owned swamp boats may have prevented the children from being devoured by alligators. This next part is going to seem crazy, but there are whispers that somehow cocaine was involved. That, and wait for this aggie loyal and kind, God fearing lovers of humanity... the alligators might have consumed cocaine in the swamp. Details are still murky, but we here at Tales and the entire Gazette staff are on the ball. More info coming soon.