You don't know me

We were middle class, not rich.

<raises hand again> I had it.

<raises hand> I had it.

I live outside of STL now and listen to the sports talk shows on radio. It's funny to listen to them talking about "SEC" football, especially given that they don't play what anyone would consider "SEC" football. It's a shitty school with a shitty football program and it was glorious when TH mocked that idiot of a quarterback. The weeks leading up to the bowl game were very entertaining because they kept going on about the high powered offense. That high powered offense was putting up numbers because they were a shitty team playing against even shittier teams.

Or maybe not. I was irritated by her voice as soon as she started speaking. I can't imagine getting past the "hi, nice to meet you" stage.

We have a drawer in the kitchen that somehow holds more plastic bags than it's actual capacity should handle. I try to keep the kids away from it in case it just explodes.

Waiting for the day he gets traded to some semi-pro team for a washing machine.

Seriously? They're fucking pretentious, man. All green with the shell and everything. Moving so slow while crossing streets. Fucking assholes is what turtles are.

fightin' Texas aggy Band woop!

My 5 yo has started calling his brothers asshole. Wife turns and tries to keep from laughing while I discipline. I do laugh about it later.

Doesn't matter, had sex?

I feel sad for Norman Johnson.

Well, that and the "malfunctioning" fire alarm.

Or head ball coach at TCU, right?

Yeah, I am pretty much with you. I also would add that a major league debut only happens one time for a player. I would have left him in. That being said, I wasn't watching the game so I don't know how he was looking at that point. I did hear this morning that he was laboring in the 6th and 7th innings.

Might I suggest MS Paint and dick drawing?

Yep. Battalion Commander tells SgtMaj formation at 07:00. SgtMaj tells 1stSgts that formation is at 06:45. 1stSgts tell platoon Sgts that formation as at 06:30. Platoon Sgts tell everyone to be there at 06:15. Fuck...

Are the Bobs there yet?

I was one of the poor bastards lining the street in the 1989 inauguration parade. I had been in for a whopping 5 months at the time, pretty much straight out of Marine Corps boot camp. At first, I thought it would be pretty cool. Then after about 2 seconds of preparation, I realized it was going to be the suck. On the day of the parade, we were on the buses sometime around 04:00 or so. They bused us up from Quantico and then we got into a formation for instructions. Stay at parade rest until Reagan's presidential limo drives by. Come to attention, render hand salute, then back to parade rest until the color guard and Bush come by. Then we marched out and got into our positions on the route. Holy shit, was it ever cold that day. We were on the parade route very early. I can't remember how long we stood there, but it seemed like 36 hours or so (yeah, exaggeration is my thing). Yes, these types of things just suck for the service members involved. Edited to add: I did get a real spiffy Certification of Appreciation with a stamped signature of some Army Brigadier General. That made it all worthwhile.

Not my parking garage, we were at a mall. Interior lanes are two way traffic with straight in parking. Genius design, I know.

Junior high and high school in Saint Louis. They bused a bunch of inner-city kids out to our school in the burbs. This was the early 80's. One of the kids was in my science class and sat next to me. He was always tired. Turned out that they got picked up around 5:00 AM or some such unholy hour. Kid hated the forced busing, but did like the school. Another guy was on our wrestling team. He was our heavyweight. One day we were running sprints in the hallway. We were lined up on both sides of the hallway and the sprinters would run between the lines down the middle of the hallway. One of the white trash kids got bumped by the heavyweight who was finishing his sprint. Next thing I know, the 'n' word flies. I thought the white trash kid had seen his last day on earth, but the heavyweight had a ton of restraint.

Here's a twofer... Went with the wife to the fucking Apple Store on Saturday. Wait, this is a threefer. The Apple Store makes me surly. We parked in the parking garage. On the way out, as soon as I step outside of the door, I step in freshly chewed/spit out gum. Not just normal gum. Like Bubble Yum or something like that. So, people that spit their gum out on the ground anywhere, let alone in a doorway. When pulling out of our parking spot, I had two people jockeying for position to get my spot. Neither wanted to give an inch and wouldn't back up so that I could leave. People are stupid. So, maybe a fourfer. Stupid people make me surly.

You'd be pretty quick in packing your shit up and getting out of dodge if you were a Hispanic person living in Texas. Practice, man.

Records shows on the DVR for watching at a later date (sometimes months later). They show up on On Demand the very next day.

Incompetent people at work that make statements and their voice goes up like they are asking a question. It's a constant thing with incompetent people that are trying to talk about things which they have no knowledge. I'm sure our clients just love it.