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Bat Guano

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Everything posted by Bat Guano

  1. Getting into Ready Player One. Yeah, I'm late to the party; wanted to read it before seeing the movie.
  2. Agreed. In fact, Foo Fighters are a much better band, showing who the true talent in Nirvana actually was.
  3. Smart money's gotta be on Pruitt this week.
  4. Ha! So in other words everything is wrong with Oklahoma!
  5. What, no Tide pods? I haz a disappoint.
  6. Wouldn't it be easier to list the things that are NOT the matter with Oklahoma? Much shorter list. In fact, here it is:
  7. Ratings are a big part of the problem. All the cable stations are on the air 24/7, so they have many hours of programming to fill. There simply isn't enough news, most days, to fill that maw, and of course providing actual news is expensive, so they go to commentary, which is cheap; you can always get someone to come on the air and give their opinion about pretty much anything, whether they know anything about it or not. But the stations are striving for ratings above all, for the advertising revenue that higher ratings translate into, so of course the more controversial and willing to bash the other team their hosts and talking heads are, the more people will watch. From both teams; a good percentage of MSNBC's viewership is made up of Fox viewers who watch the opposition because they like getting angry. And vice versa, of course.
  8. If we're talking game theory I think a better analogy would be to the game of go, which the Chinese play well. The goal is to control more of the board than your opponent, and often involves giving up small gains in one area to gain larger territory somewhere else. The more of the board you can control, the better; if you have a particularly inept and stupid opponent, you can get the whole thing. Trump isn't even playing the same game; if I had to guess, it seems like Whack-a-Mole. He's setting us up for epic losses.
  9. Nothing that cool, just a new pair of jeans.
  10. Pro tip: American English speakers don't use the plural marker on the million or trillion in specific numbers like 4 million, or 5 trillion. Feel free to pass this info along to your handlers, so your countrymen can better learn to pass as Americans.
  11. Well, there's this paragon of masculinity: Oh, wait....
  12. Fixed magazines - 10 rounds Detachable mags - 7 rounds. Numbers pulled out of my ass, but they seem about right.
  13. The HOA 'won't let you' sit in your own front yard and drink beer in the attire of your choosing? And your lawyer agrees with them? Fuck that. Not a jury in the state of Texas would decide against a man for exercising his God-given right to sit in his yard and drink beer in his underwear. Fire your lawyer, tell the HOA to fuck off, and take matters into your own hands. Put up the sign, sit out there all day every day getting shitfaced in your own yard, and dare the motherfuckers to take you to court. Edit: I'm not a lawyer, don't play one on TV, and don't give a fuck, but this may or may not be legally sound advice.
  14. The police are responsible for Youtube's security?
  15. What should they have done?
  16. WTF. She probably has more followers now, and got lots of attention. Way better than actually going on a cruise; I'm sure she counts it as a win.
  17. 52" boob job for the wife. Obviously.
  18. I think you should look at the World Domination Invasion Force. New model by a new company, America Fuck Yeah - built in America of course* - and it's so big it takes up two lanes for an entire city block. Gets 12 gallons per mile and weighs 4000 metric tons. That should fill the bill, shouldn't it, fat boy? * Some Chinese components (less than 95%).
  19. Jaywalking. Serious bidness. All that traffic on that deserted street in the middle of the night - they had no choice. And he was a repeat offender. Lucky they didn't shoot him. Obviously a menace to society. God dammit, what the fuck is wrong with people?
  20. Bullshit. If you were pro-science you wouldn't keep starting these stupid threads with anti-scientific premises. You've been told over and over again, in many different ways and in great detail, that the concept of race is scientifically invalid, and yet you cling to it like an infant sucking its mother's tit. Look at the title of this one: when the source materials you are purporting to discuss are talking about genetically distinct populations, you reduce this to the simplistic, outmoded concept of race. This is antiscientific superstition. Take a look at the actual research with an open mind if you really want to be pro-science (yeah, I know you don't, but for the sake of argument let's pretend you're doing something other than trolling).
  21. So... what exactly is the yellow thing? Thought it was a yolk, deconstructed from his eggs, but on closer inspection the yolks are still in the eggs. Mustard? To go with the Spam-tomato soup?
  22. He's getting a minivan. Just needs to come to terms with it.
  23. This is actually pretty clever politics, for an Okie. Keep cutting funding until the result is unacceptable to even the inert lumps of ectoplasm that constitute the average Oklahoman, all the while cutting their taxes, and force them to pony up more money to switch to a private school if they ever want their kids to dream of upgrading to a double-wide. Thus you extract more money from the dumbasses who voted for you to cut their taxes, but now it's voluntary - they've decided on their own to pay more for the same level of service (maybe) they would have had anyway, and meanwhile you funnel money into the private education industry, who is no doubt giving you your cut via campaign donations. The dumbass who voted for you gets a tax increase that he chose, while you get to claim you cut his taxes, and all is right with the world!
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