I can tell I'm not going to make it through quarantine. The wife spent all last week complaining how overblown the virus thing was and how stupid the panicky shoppers were. Then slowly all the other stupid wives on her best friends text chain started texting about getting groceries, medicine, TP, etc. Then she turned into overly crazy shopper. I told her to limit her store visits and just get the necessities.
She came home with a car full of shit. I asked where she went and she had gone to Tom Thumb, Target (3X), Wal Mart, Sams, dog food store, "and a few other places."
AG: Why did you go to Target three times?
Mrs. AG: I forgot to get a butternut squash.
AG: What other stores did you go to?
Mrs. AG: I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)
AG: That's a necessity? What's in the other bags?
Mrs. AG: I also went to the liquor store (she doesn't drink liquor, and I told her to stop buying me liquor because she buys shit and I'm trying to clear out some space in my bar area, but gave her the benefit of the doubt)
AG: Ok, liquor sounds good, what did you get?
Mrs. AG: LOOK!!! (she proudly pulls out a bottle of "moonshine" that is just flavored grain alcohol in a fake mason jar)
AG: Why would you get that, you'll never drink it?
Mrs. AG: Oh god no I'm not drinking that.
AG: Have you ever seen me drink moonshine, or anything other than scotch or whiskey? Why would you get that?
Mrs. AG: Look at the flavor!!! It sounds so gross!!! Butter toffee moonshine, can you imagine??
At that point I just shook my head and walked out. I came back later to get a whiskey drink and found 4 bottles of "moonshine" and a bottle of peanut butter flavored whiskey.