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Angry Gorilla

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Angry Gorilla

  1. I told myself I wasn’t touching that shit. But being quarantined does weird things to the mind.
  2. I tried real peanuts. Not sure there was anything salty enough to counteract that level of sweetness. Maybe I should have salted the rim.
  3. The Vans are safe because they never left the box
  4. Turns out I have plenty. When there is an explosion and your bowels empty out in I’ve brushed my teeth ~10 times and still have a faint taste in my mouth. The good news is I think my dog has forgiven me. I’m going to go sit in the sauna later and try to sweat out this nastiness.
  5. Sad to say I had to throw in the towel. Just puked all over the toilet. Had to switch to tasty beer and some online poker. I wonder if Nicole ever bought OJ peanut butter whiskey. Would explain a lot.
  6. Not sure I’ll have to force anything. It seems inevitable now.
  7. Serving #10: Pickleback! This has been the most palatable so far, or maybe I’m finally starting to get drunk.
  8. Serving #9: Infused with actual peanuts You know that face a baby makes when you give it a lemon? That’s what I’m doing with each drink. I’m craving the inevitable blackout, but not only does this bottle taste like asshole, it’s only fucking 60 proof. Maybe I should start mixing it with real whiskey. Or bleach.
  9. Tell my daughter I love her. Tell my wife this is her fault for buying this shit.
  10. Serving #8: as a shot with a lime chaser People use limes to cover up tequila shots right? And you might think the sourness would counteract the sweetness. Well you would be fucking wrong. I could barely taste the lime, and it somehow made a chemical reaction that made a peanut butter whiskey tasted paste that’s stuck in my mouth and I can’t wash out. My dog won’t come to me when I call her anymore.
  11. I’ll report back
  12. Serving #7: As a shot with a banana shot luge As expected the banana did little to mask the overwhelming sweet flavor. Eating the banana after did nothing. I’m starting to question my life choices. And why am I still wearing a rain poncho when I haven’t been outside in 3 hours?
  13. Serving #6: mixed with GNC Lean Shake powder, chocolate flavor. This is the only chocolate anything I could find, and I’m pretty sure it expired over a year ago. This has been the best so far, but I think a full scoop was too much. I might also be starting to hallucinate.
  14. Serving #5: As a shot with grape jelly chaser This has been the best so far. It still feels like getting hit in the face with a sock full of nickels when the whiskey hits my mouth, but the jelly did a decent job of covering it up. I do feel I might be doing irreparable damage to my taste buds.
  15. I wish I had those mixers, but I am having to MacGuyver this shit with what I have.
  16. Serving #4: as a shot with strawberry jelly I should have used the jelly as a chaser. It was thicker and sunk to bottom so when I took the shot the peanut awfulness came first, which caused me to gag a little before the jelly fell into my mouth. Trying to swallow a thick liquid while trying not to puke is hard (that’s what she said)
  17. Serving #3: Mixed with Coke To be honest this tastes the exact same as on the rocks. I used to use Coke to mix with cheap whiskey when I was poor. It does nothing to cover up the taste. I also feel that I’ve hit my daily suggested caloric intake after these 3 drinks.
  18. Serving #2: On the rocks Not surprisingly it tastes very similar to serving #1, but colder. But somehow the ice and tiny bit of water really bring out the sweetness. It’s like I took a spoonful of peanut butter then dipped it into Fun Dip.
  19. Against my better judgement, I broke into the peanut butter whiskey. Serving #1: Neat It smells like the rotten peanut you get when you are eating peanuts out the shell and you have to eat another one quickly to get the taste out of your mouth. The initial taste is the fake sweet peanut butter found in Reese’s, but with a lot more sugar. Following that is a distinct taste of rubber.
  20. With the pie still in it
  21. On top of that, how busy if the first weekend going to be when they finally reopen everything? It's only been closed a couple of days and I already have the itch to go out, plus all the people that cancelled March Madness and Draft trips.
  22. Is Melissa on this season? She has been posting pics of her being very pregnant. Not sure when this filmed, wonder if she did it pregnant, or got pregnant on it.
  23. Yes. She can get trash food from Walmart and Target for us to eat, but nothing but the best for the dogs.
  24. Not really. She didn’t get anything useful like pasta, rice, toilet paper, hand sanitizer, etc. but if there is a shortage of skateboarding shoes or butternut squashes then I’m in the clear. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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