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South Austin

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by South Austin

  1. South Austin
    Ask me again.
  2. South Austin
  3. South Austin
    Great, now you got this song stuck in my head.
  4. South Austin
    Fuck yeah. It’s like the Democratic Party recruiting went from Tom Herman to Steve Sarkisian.
  5. South Austin
    Did aggy hire Steel Shank to cater?
  6. South Austin
    Nice work. I love shaksuka but have never made it.
  7. South Austin
    Maybe some. But if you give a Marine a chance to shoot an insurrectionist . . . .
  8. South Austin
    Maybe I’m too cocky after this week, but we need Trump alive through November.
  9. South Austin
    That’s really a good way of putting it.
  10. South Austin
    Fucking A. Swing for the fences, Kamala.
  11. South Austin
    Sizzlelean or GTFO.
  12. South Austin
    My first ever experience with Florida and Floridians: I’m driving with three friends from Raleigh to Fort Lauderdale to catch a cruise ship to the Bahamas for Spring Break, and we stop in the middle of nowhere, Florida in the middle of the night to gas up, and a couple rough-looking rednecks pull up to the pump next to us and ask where we’re going. We tell them Fort Lauderdale. One of the rednecks responds looking coldly into my eyes: “A lot of n—rs down there.” Me [never hearing anything like that in my 19 years of sheltered life]: “Uh, you have a good evening sir.” [Hurries back to car, locks door, drives the hell out of there.]
  13. South Austin
    Speaking of which, I told my wife over lunch that one of Biden’s final acts as President should be to call in the Marine Corps (no offense Capitol Police) to guard Congress starting the day or two before election certification and give the commanding order that anyone who enters the building unauthorized should be shot on sight, and make sure the public hears those orders loud and clear.
  14. South Austin
    JD Vance: “Wrong. Hamburger helper, Parmesan, salsa.”
  15. South Austin
    I think any of the VP candidates that seem to be rising to the top would do a great job on policy talking points, and any of Shapiro, Walz, and Kelly can help shore up a needed demographic for Harris. But we need more than an attack dog who calls out Trump and Vance for their bullshit lies and undemocratic, cruel policies. We need a guy who can plainly and repeatedly call them out for what they are – a couple of fucking weirdos. To borrow the label de jour, this is a vibe election. Harris is already capturing a vibe, and she needs a VP who is skilled at continuously pointing out that Trump and Vance are just a couple of weirdos, and weirdos are bad for the highest offices in our national leadership. Walz and Shapiro seem like they would be masters at that. Kelly? I’m not sure.
  16. South Austin
    The secret plan is they have Sidney Powell on retainer and have already booked prime press conference real estate at the Four Seasons in Philadelphia.
  17. South Austin
  18. South Austin
    Microwaving bacon.
  19. South Austin
    Random question: Has anyone ever heard Donald Trump laugh?
  20. South Austin
    1. We have a younger, fresher candidate than we’ve had the past two election cycles. 2. More importantly, we have a greater threat to our democracy, individual freedoms, and collective American welfare, and a louder voice of racism, fascism, and idiocy that I’ve seen in my lifetime and that I thought was not possible when I switched to the Democratic Party around 2000.
  21. South Austin
    Der Schnitzel.
  22. South Austin
    What an absolute hateful fuckstick using human beings for his political theater. Spineless mother fucker.
  23. South Austin
    So do their voters.
  24. South Austin
  25. South Austin

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