Paper_jam

With TP, if worst comes to worst, we can just rip pages out of old magazines or phonebooks

You win this game by tricking your opponent into leaning out of the window a little too far...

Won't help that the Stones postponed their tour, including the Austin show at COTA.

Someone with a lot more energy and talent than me should do a Covid-19 version of that "angry Hitler" meme video from the movie Downfall.

but I thought after the last crash, the government instituted reforms and controls to ensure that banks and investment houses manage their assets responsibly and don't get overextended (trying to keep a straight face)

I went to a N. Austin Chili's for lunch today (hey, I had a gift card to burn) and it was not nearly as busy as it usually is. I bet the lunch line tomorrow at Chipotle gonna be short.

Went to lunch today (indian buffet) and a lady customer there was just sneezing and coughing up a storm. How long do I have?

Bring back the greatest football commentator of all time, Dennis Miller

Everyone does shitty work and/or is incompetent.Today's example: eating lunch at a restaurant I regularly frequent but a different person is working the register. I give them my credit card, they put it in the card reader. It goes "beep" but the guy looks confused and irritated at whatever is on the LCD screen (won't show it to me). Runs my card a second time, same result--i can't see what is on the screen but he says it was declined. (At no point did I sign anything or "approve" the purchase.) After the second attempt with the card I say fuck it and pay in cash. I come home and see that my card was billed twice. Now I have to get the place to cancel the pending charges or dispute it with my CC company.

Sometimes I feel like Austin (hell, Central Texas) just needs to declare a Transportation Emergency and appoint (or elect) a Transportation Fascist. That position would have absolute authority to bypass all the usual red tape (public input, environmental impact, contractor bidding, property disputes, etc.) that make transportation projects drag on for decades. Also, we need more efficient ways of dealing with accidents and disabled vehicles. Rapid-response crews with bulldozers or heavy-lift helicopters that can move wrecks and disabled vehicles out of the way in minutes, not hours. And let's get big, slow-ass construction vehicles and heavy commercial vehicles off city roads during peak commuting times. Finally, I don't want to see any fuckin' orange cones or barrels in a travel lane unless there is actually work happening there. How many times do you see a lane that's closed for a mile and absolutely nothing is going on, and the surface is still completely drivable?

A desire to get back at people or institutions (or just society) who they think have fucked them over. And if the person is sufficiently fucked up, they can rationalize it to the extent that the specific individuals being targeted don't matter-- everyone is in on it or part of it, so everyone gets a bullet. Also, why just go out quietly when you can at least make a big headline? Like the line from the Squidbillies intro song..."I'll take all you sumbitches when I go."

Based on my parking lot at work, you need at least an F150 or Tahoe for this kind of duty.

A NASCAR winter series in snow country would be great (or F1 or Indycar for that matter) ...

Unfortunately, I can't do anything like that kind of volume. I could do 5 boxes of the peanut butter patties, plus 3 boxes of thin mints. But I'm in NE Austin pretty far from everything. I'll PM you with my address and you can let me know if it's worth your time and gas to deliver...

How about the "Peanut Butter Patties" variety? (Not the "Sandwich" kind, but the chocolate-covered peanut butter ones.) Those are like crack I can eat.

Take NASCAR back to homologation racing: showroom-stock vehicles with no modifications (or minimal modifications for safety, such as extra bracing for roll protection, fire protection systems, etc.). Can't race a car that isn't available for public sale.

I really liked my 2004 GTO. At the time, they were letting them go cheap because the US market didn't accept the car as a "real" Pontiac GTO. But it was a damn nice car, especially compared to the other stuff coming out of GM at the time.

Reclining only provides a modest improvement in comfort for the person reclining, but it produces a substantial amount of distress for the person in the seat behind, so the net effect when someone reclines is a decrease in overall utility. Put another way, if the total discomfort level of all the passengers could be quantified, the cumulative collective discomfort would be minimized if there is no reclining.

Seeing the same kind of thing in Austin, at least in my area. Some shitstain hit-and-runned me in a parking lot on Sunday. Seems like in the last year, we've reached some kind of critical threshold where basic rules of the road don't apply anymore. I predict a market for Mad Max-style car modifications in the near future.

People doomed to live out the rest of their natural lives on a cursed plague ship. New Pirates of the Caribbean movie?

A Stones concert at a racetrack? I wonder how that's worked out before...

Yesterday Musk tweeted "Giga Texas" and apparently he changed his Twitter location to Austin. https://www.kxan.com/news/local/austin/speculation-flies-after-tech-entrepreneur-elon-musk-changes-twitter-bio-location-to-austin/ Does this mean anything?

If everyone just keeps drinking Sterno we'll all be fine.

We were all doomed when Radio Shack started asking for our name & address when you were just buying a pack of batteries. I liked it when a "rewards program" was a a little paper card a place would give you and stamp it or punch it every time you ate lunch there until you qualify for a freebie. Not some app or internet account that's a backdoor way to harvest your personal info and monetize it.