FloridaHorn

Couldn’t be, at this point even his dad knows he sucks.

Worse, they will hire Tom F'n Herman...but the end result will be the same.

ClosetoJumping lol

When you have the opportunity to attend the equivalent of a live taping of the Jerry Springer Show, you don't turn it down.

LOL...it damn sure does, but home is Texas and that is where the festivities and family is at. Grew up a little south of Dallas, but the entire family now lives on one 20 acre compound in Maypearl.

His next job is always imminent, and it's always "the last job he will ever have." At the age of 16, I dared to bring my little girlfriend to the family Thanksgiving. After several Budweisers, but before the meal was eaten, Redneck Uncle Gary asked my dear friend had she "let me get a little stinky on my pinky yet?"

After reading, it is apparent that I am either related to several of you fuckers, or we are all living in some sort of parallel universe. I start my holiday story with only the following as a guide... My Grandmother, God rest her soul, had 4 children. Two boys and two girls whom she name Sherry, Jerry, Garry and Larry. Here is a brief description of each of those individuals. Sherry - Her and her husband are religous freaks, and the parents of twin girls and a very gay son. The girls have each been married 3+ times, have rarely been able to hold down jobs, and each have multiple baby daddies, but they do no wrong in their parents eyes. The son, due to his sexuality, is never spoken to or about, as if he doesn't really exist. Jerry - My mother. Married/Divorced 5 times. Unemployed for the last 20 years of her life, which she spent living with my Grandmother and Garry. She passed away this year, about 3 weeks after my grandmother passed. Garry - Raging redneck alcoholic, supreme racist and unashamed homophobe. He too has been unemployed for the better part of 20 years and lived with my mother and grandmother in her trailer. The same trailer which he burned down only 2 weeks after her death, due to smoking in bed. He now lives in a 5th wheel travel trailer on Sherry's property. He received $30,000 in insurance money for the burned trailer. Spent 20K on the trailer and the rest on "primo weed". Larry - Chain smoking cardiac patient with severe COPD. Removes his oxygen mask to smoke another unfiltered camel. The outcast of the family, only comes around for these festive holiday times. other attendees The Grandchildren - Sherry's kids -Twin sisters, both pushing 3 bills and each on husbands number 3, and their gay brother and his partner. My wife and I. I am the only college educated professional person in the family. We will fly into town, rent a car and stay in a hotel. We will each be subjected to countless stares and questions about our personal finances. We are generally looked down upon, because we have been successful. My brother.....40 years old with wife and two kids. He has had at least 30 jobs prior to landing his dream gig as a Budweiser delivery person. Gary's Kids - 1 girl and two boys, all grown. The youngest just finished a 10 year turn for meth possession/distribution. Traditional Thanksgiving dinner, served buffet style on paper plates, Budweiser, sweet tea and boxed wine to drink, followed by yelling at the TV for the entire Cowboy game. By halftime, most will be drunk or pissed off, several will have stormed out and headed home and my wife and I will be smelling of second hand smoke, and swearing this is the last year we attend. Its a family tradition.

That legit made me sick to my stomach. Hell is to nice a place for this piece of shit.

Well, don't keep us in suspense, was he a good teacher?

So how is Mrs. Fuccboi these days?

I blame it on the orange slices and Sally’s cookies.

I would blame your parents. They should have told you that you can be anything you want to be if you really try.

What if I told you that Kirk was also a big supporter of Charlie Strong.

Broke his arm. Fuck!

What if I told you the basketball school was beating a volleyball school?

I have $500 that says Brockermeyer can’t outrun @closetojumping in a 40 yd dash

3 TO’s including a pick 6 and you think they aren’t part of the problem?

Can’t quit if you never start.

Texas has a chance to be special this year. Dolcini is a huge get, and instantly makes Texas a threat to get to OKC. We need some big innings from Simpson, and more consistency from OLeary and things will be dandy.

my all time favorite.... Wife: "You're just trying to Delegate an argument!" Me: "The word is instigate." Wife: "stop trying to make me feel stupid." Me: "I'm not trying."

FIFY

C'mon Sydney, it's bad enough that you are punching down on the poor guy, but now you gotta kink shame him as well. That's over the line.

Plywood