Victorious1

aggy over @ texags saying he purposely tested positive for drugs and sodomized huskies & eskimos to get kicked out so he could play ball in XFL.

F Canada #righttoworkcountry

Almost wish we could go back to the Tom Pender's days...

just a tax shelter now

Last night I get home, eat dinner, go upstairs and turn on the TV and there is a Directv error code 775 bad connection between satellite dish and receiver. I check the coax cable connections, the HDMI connections and pulling the power cable to reset and nothing works. I have several movies recorded so I turn them on and head to bed after 9pm. At 5:30am this morning I walk in the family room and the wife is checking the connections at the TV (in other words, fucking shit up). Me: "What's up with Directv?" Wife: "You need to go outside and check the satellite dish and connections, that's what the error code says". Me: "I'm not checking in the dark, I'll have a look at lunch time." At lunch time I grab a ladder and the satellite is bolted down super tight and all the connections are secure but it dawned on me the wife was painting walls in the kitchen earlier in the week and had unscrewed some outlets. So I go inside and check the combo outlet with a coax cable and phone cable and sure enough, the coax cable is loose at the connection. Me: "Nothing wrong outside". Wife: "Directv is coming out at 8am in the morning. They had promo's so I signed up for free this and free that, all for $8.95 a month". Me: "The coax cable is loose on the kitchen outlet." Wife: "THAT CABLE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TV. IT'S FOR THE INTERNET AND PHONE CONNECTIONS". (Like she's some kind of expert electrician). I walk into our bedroom and the TV fires up normal... Me: "TV in the bedroom works fine now". Wife turns on the family room TV and it fires up...

This thread now hits close to home. Kid fired a gun at my son's high school (Rio Rancho, NM) today just minutes before classes started. According to him, the kid was a special ed kid who fired it into the ceiling, dropped the gun and hauled ass. Good to know the cops responded quickly and caught the kid (it's all open area, no place to hide). https://www.kob.com/albuquerque-news/police-respond-to-shots-fired-call-at-cleveland-high-school/5246302/

she looks right at home in that swing. he, on the other hand, is thinking "no more strap-on dildo's going up my ass once we're outta here".

what a relief. I was waiting for the "some animals WERE harmed during the filming of __" disclaimer.

not gonna ask about the animal hides on the floor...

Was that an air ball by DO to end the half?

2-0 after 1 inning. Probably ran themselves out of 2 more runs

Victorious1 is on the scoreboard! I knocked 2019 out early this year (married 23 years...) My projected run rate is 4-6 times this year (Winter, Spring, Summer & Fall). I need to check back in July but I'm sure I'll be disappointed.

another needed alcohol law reform needed: drinking in public before noon. We were at the beach in Port A one weekend and started popping the tops around 11am on Sunday and the local law enforcement paid us a visit. Luckily he just made us pour out the open containers and said to wait another 20 minutes until noon but he could have written us up.

Didn't see this one last year: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2018/06/05/elk-kicks-woman-head-2nd-yellowstone-attack-3-days/675548002/ Were all the proper lawsuits files against Yellowstone Park, Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation and the local Elks Club?

don't forget to run a credit check while you're at it...

In Old Yeller Bud Searcy tells of an uncle or family member who came down with hydrophobie and chained hisself to a tree to protect his family from him when it hit. If it worked in Old Yeller it should work for you so you better get the chain out. *(Disclaimer: it didn't work out very well for Old Yeller)

Brad Shearer was a baller, just tackled the whole right side of the arkie o-line and the RB. Steve McMichael wasn't too bad either.

I replaced my BGE thermometer years ago with a Smokeware thermometer. I'll use my probes for long cooks but for hamburgers, steaks & such the Smokeware is much better guage. Has anyone used their Chimney Caps?

I think you're confused and meant to say Battle of Yorktown...

at least we know where to go for some black plague, or too soon?

No, it's not. And stop calling me Surely.

DO dribbles right into the defense...

holy Shiite, DO sucks balls