Texasrocks

When is the last time a high profile assistant left Alabama and it made any difference? Saban seems to like Sark more than most of his assistants, but make no mistake, Bama wins because of Saban. Sark is the best OC they've had and he's improved scoring by a couple of points a game. They can hire some random guy who isn't drooling on himself and they'll drop off by a few points. He probably has a replacement for every coach on his staff already on his staff as an analyst. There may be slight variations in how they kick the crap out of teams, but they'll still kick the crap out of teams. Saban treats coaches like he treats players, if he loses one it's next man up. Saban can lose half his staff and he'll be right back in the playoffs next year.

How many hundreds of pages is the Urban or Bust thread? Substance isn't really our strong suit around here.

Yep. I went to grad school with an OSU alumn who got us tickets. He wouldn't leave the stadium until I flipped my UT shirt inside out. He was convinced I was going to get my ass kicked before we got out of the stadium.

Not clicking on the 'Nigerian Prince who wants to wire me money' email isn't really turning down an offer.

We need to see the whole staff for an overall grade, but so far there is no dead weight which is a significant improvement over the last 10+ years. New S&C coaches are A+ just on principle. The Flood and Davis hires are easy A's. Drayton is a B based on his tenure so far. Gideon has potential, but it's not clear what his role is. For ST he's probably an A, but I don't know how he'll do with safeties and recruiting so we can give him a placeholder B. Milwee is probably a B. Probably a B+ at the halfway point.

I'm really enjoying how the $9.95ers don't have any clue who we're hiring and yet still have "details" on the process.

The Bagman Commeth

The Idiocracy/Back To The Future crossover.

Is that the OL Blue Steel?

hornography.com twobithorns.com

hornhub.com?

Alright, which one of you fuckers is Josh Brown?

I suspect it'll be one of the extremes - it'll be a repeat of his USC tenure and he'll be gone in two years or he'll have a Mack Brown record (hopefully with more conference titles). The USC route is more likely, but I hedged with 4 years.

What does it say about his drapes? That's the only way to know for sure.

Yep. The Urban or Bust thread clearly demonstrated what insiders know: jack shit. I'll believe staff hires when the school announces them.

He doesn't have a show-cause. Pass.

Blacklab is all, "let's focus here guys." Meanwhile, Immamac wants to go streaking in the quad.

My shorter version: no one knew shit about who our next coach would be and Surly has varying tastes in food, condiments, towns, beaches, music, and firearms. The first 400 pages were entertaining as hell, Nicole didn't show us her boobs, and Futureman didn't fist himself.

He meets the primary criteria: he's not Tom Herman. That's a good start. Otherwise, this is a risk. I didn't like the Herman hire. Strong had just failed spectacularly and Herman had even less of a record despite being the hot coach at the time. I've come to accept that virtually any coach other than Saban and Meyer is a risk. Nothing in Royal's history suggested he'd turn out to be the coach he was at Texas. You could same the same when LSU hired Saban or when USC hired Carroll. Sark was not in my top five, but he has as much a chance of being successful as anyone not named Meyer.

I keep hearing this, but our DL is good consistently, and improves each season. Giles and Ash are the only defensive coaches I'd want to keep. This. Giles is great at developing players. Whatever our issues have been, they haven't been on the D-line. Muchamp would be fantastic. If we don't get him, I'd be more than happy keeping Ash. I'd also keep Giles, Hutzler, and Drayton.

Staff: Strong and Herman failed before they played their first games at Texas. Presumably, this is why we hired Sarkisian so he needs to nail this. Recruiting: If we lose the top players in the state to OSU and Bama next year, we picked the wrong guy. Record: Anything less than 10-2 is a disappointment and two losses would depend on context. This isn't a rebuild so we shouldn't see a down year like Stoops had his first season at OU or Saban had at Bama. Great coaches make an immediate impact. Even guys like Osborne who took a long time to win a title won a lot of games immediately. We have talent. It's not Bama/Clemson talent, but it's better than everyone on our schedule next year other than OU. Adjustments: This really falls at the end of year one. If we underperform in a given area, I want to see an adjustment whether that is adapting scheme to the current players or replacing an assistant. Mack Brown recognized the need for a change, but executed them badly at the end of his tenure. Herman waited too long to replace coaches and still had significant issues on the offensive side (maybe it wasn't the assistants...). Saban is the master of self scouting and making corrections. This, more than any other feature, is what sets him apart. He reacts more strongly to losses, but makes changes even when he's winning. If Sark learned anything from his time with Saban, I hope its this and that we see the same pattern here.

Any word on who he wants as his S&C coach? That's probably the most immediate concern followed by recruiting coordinator. If nothing else, hopefully he's seen the admin infrastructure Saban has in place and brings in a shit ton of support staff.

I'd be excited about Sark if I was an Auburn fan. He may be great. He may be the next Herman. Either way, it's hard to view this as anything other than settling after we missed our first choice. Maybe this is a Pete Carroll situation. Maybe its a Charlie Strong situation. I'm hoping for the former.

OU fans are cunts. Whether you noticed that or not is a different matter.

What's the opposite of the bat signal?