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MissingInAction

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by MissingInAction

  1. Not even the common courtesy of a reach around.
  2. Not a ghost story but still terrifying: First time out to the house my great aunts lived in since forever. The last one had passed so we went out there to clean the place out. Im about 10 at the time. So pops decides we're spending the night. He and my uncle are trashed. I find a bed near a window in a spare room. Its dark so i turn on the light to read. A few minutes into my book I hear the sound of something banging on the window. I look over and theres a bunch of fucking tarantulas on the screen, and more are jumping up there. I screamed like a banshee. My drunk uncle and dad come in there ready to fuck shit up. Im just pointing at this lovecraftian horror on the window screen. They laughed and said oh yea theres a bunch those fucking things out there. They eat the bugs that are attracted by the light. Yea I didnt sleep and the next morning I made my dad carry me to the car. Fuck all that noise.
  3. Oh yeaa.. thats the good stuff...
  4. I need to start using streaming apps on my ludicrous TV instead of the ps5, but cant remember any of my passwords and am too lazy to reset.
  5. Glad to know I'm on your radar.
  6. This fat bitch on the Vonlane took half the snacks off the tray as it went by. I think shes watching me type this.
  7. I'm an excellent cook and pick perfect cuts. You are wrong. My meat will melt in your mouth.
  8. If you were hit by water balloons filled with piss outside of Jester in 91 it was definitely not me and my crew of dipshits.
  9. Old pervs and chicks with daddy issues are like peanut butter and jelly. Only reason I'm still getting laid.
  10. We had a big one at a lake house for a bachelor party. The echo off the water brought the sheriffs. Luckily they believed a bunch of drunk ass middle aged white guys werent shooting it at boats. We were definitely firing upon boats. Thing had a 200 yard range.
  11. Potato gun.
  12. I think i saw her on Americas got talent. Also...wood.
  13. Lol. I wouldnt ride a bike down rundberg unless it has an uzi mounted on it. Whats this I hear about stick pounding?
  14. Can we get back to the Assram discussion?
  15. Just look at this piece of shit. The American dream in a sack of burger grease.
  16. I decided to take the length and ponied up for espn. It has multiview but you cant customize it like yttv. Its an inferior product by a long shot. I'm going to piracy. Its extra effort but it feels good to steal from the cunts.
  17. The big 12 is cfb d league. Whoever that conference shits into the playoffs will lose in the first round.
  18. No. I was geting laid. A lot. At the time before the internet, being an edgy douchebag brought the ladies. Seriously guys! You gotta believe me!
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