My latest shitbrick installment. I have posted before about how the battery powered portable bidets work for me for travel. Not as good as the real deal but enough in combo with tp or wipes to alleviate a good deal of my travel shitting anxiety. That was all well and good for my vacation travels. I have not had to travel for work since Covid until this week.
The logistics of having to leave your hotel room at 7 AM, be onsite with a client for 8+ hours, then spend 5+ hours in an airport/plane are not copacetic to my ideal pooping conditions with my travel bidet. I'm not regular enough to be able to completely empty my bladder on command before I pack up for a long day. This might be an every day struggle for some less fortunate but I have been working from home since 2009 and I have no desire or intention of ever going back to an office every day.
Anyway I did what I could in the morning and felt it building through various gastro waves during the client onsite. The bathroom was adjacent to the conference room in an art/deco type of studio office with exposed ceilings, and I was basically the main presenter for the day, so that was not happening. We were slated to wrap up at 4:30 as my coworker had a 6:30 flight. My flight wasn't until 8:30. I figured I could go to the AmEx lounge in the airport and chill for a few hours, find a decent shitter, maybe even bring a bottled water into the stall with me and use my travel bidet.
No luck. I did not realize I had to be flying Delta to get into the Centurion lounge. I was now resigned to holding it until I got home at midnight, so long as I could find a decent place to chill for 3 hours. I couldn't. CLT is insane. Not a quiet corner or a seat in the entire place. I finally found a seat at a high top in the food court and I started to re evaluate my life's choices. I am going to sit here for 3 hours? No, fuck that.
I found the nearest, nicest hotel. I ordered a Premium Lyft. I had them drop me at the conference wing of the hotel. I found a giant, pristine, handicapped bathroom stall with a floor to ceiling door in an empty bathroom. I filled up my pocket bidet and brought it in with me. I saw Blue and he looked glorious. Fantastic experience. I even got to change into my jeans and take an edible. I spent the next 2 hours sitting in a comfortable chair in the lobby charging my phone. Best $50 I've ever spent. If you ever need to poop in Charlotte I highly recommend the Airport Sheraton. Next time I travel for work I just won't eat I guess.