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Chooky

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Everything posted by Chooky

  1. I remember seeing a Michael Lombardi tweet once in response to someone who was defending Bill Belichick. It said "preach." Except he spelled it "preech." He fucked up a one word tweet. And the only reason I remember that was because at the time he was promoting a book on different radio shows and sports podcasts. The title of the book was "Football Genius."
  2. Things at UNC are now way funnier than the girlfriend thing. Their admin and donors have figured out that michael lombardi, who they gave a 3 year contract, is an imbecile on top of being a complete asshole. Lombardi recently sent a condescending email to everyone in the athletic department and to their biggest donors. Apparently, the letter was so condescending in tone, self important, and poorly written that multiple donors immediately leaked it to the media to fuck him over and let everyone else get to laugh at him. The gist of the letter, aside from misspellings, was that everything that is going wrong right now is basically all their fault and that they need to be patient. So way to talk down to and alienate your most immediate financial sources. He basically just wrote a letter to hordes of very successful and accomplished alums and informed them of how smart he is and how little they know about about what it takes to position for achievement. He let them all know he's the smartest guy in every room. In this letter he used quotes from historical figures and even Bill Walsh to emphasize his vast and wordly knowledge. He did this to people who have built business empires and generational wealth without having to lodge their nose up the assholes of football coaches. The instant they announced Lombardi would be in charge of personnel evaluation and distribution of money I knew this wasn't a serious endeavor. Bill likes this dude specifically because he sparred with Boston radio hosts in his defense. That's it. And now this dude is in charge of everything there. Even before it went bad people were already murmuring about what a rude and arrogant prick Lombardi could be. And now he's talking down to legacy donors immediately after getting trounced in an empty stadium. They are so fucked.
  3. I don't think it's good for America to have Bugs Bundy in the Super Ball.
  4. Imagine if you had impassioned opinions on Bad Bunny and you shared them with a straight face.
  5. Nobody recycles cooking oil on mark sanchez's watch.
  6. Oh yeah? Well, so is your face.
  7. What did he do? Was it butt stuff at a truck stop? Did he clog his toilet and then look over his elderly landlord's shoulder and direct her how to position the plunger? Did he get an erection at a funeral? Did he mail a box of turds to a charity? It was butt stuff, wasn't it?
  8. He was far from the biggest issue today. But that doesn't mean he's not a liability right now. He's not seeing the middle of the field very well. Like ever, really. And he misses tons of layups. He's currently a drive killer with the inability to hit easy checkdowns. He can't hit intermediate passes unless he's platformed perfectly. He can't find his feet. There are probably 100 qb's in college right now that might not be as physically imposing as him but would be much more functional in this offense. He flashes an excellent ball 3 or 4 times a game but it's mostly astonishingly terrible otherwise. A dogshit offensive line just makes it worse. The only above average game he's had this year was against a high school team from Huntsville.
  9. You sound like the lawyer who parodies Johnny Cochran on Seinfeld.
  10. I honestly can't fathom how anyone can watch gameday anymore. It's diarrhea mixed with schlock. Just trim that vibrating turd down to Saban, Fowler and Herbstreit. Rece Davis fucking sucks worse than Drakkar Noir boy. Get him the fuck out of there too. Davis is a half-assed gameshow host you'd otherwise see on a shopping channel. This is just truck stop buttfucking with a decorative set and dumb shtick.
  11. I guess it'll be a little embarrassing for EA developers if the guys who did 911 can code a better replication of zone coverage. Need a cutscene of Theo Vonn flying a shirtless Pat McAfee full speed into the mural of Notre Dame's Touchdown Jesus. Earn enough off season skill points to acquire a coach ability that let's you cut the hands off of Paul Finebaum with a bone saw.
  12. Alluha Akbar 2027
  13. Good coach. Seriously annoying human.
  14. Bigfoot is blurry.
  15. Deion Sanders and Salvador Dali share the same vision of clocks.
  16. If anyone else got licensing and there was real competition EA would be toast.
  17. The best I can seem to do is stay in cover 1 and mix in stunts here and there and the occasional palms or quarters on 3rd and really long. But zone on standard downs is useless. I like to sometimes user an edge player and they made that entirely useless. You can have a 99 overall edge rusher of any archetype and they'll stick to a 70 overall tackle - literally just get stuck to them. None of the rushing moves work. It's pretty amazing that they haven't addressed it for this long. I glanced at the reddit page and EA's forum to see if it was bothering others and, hoo boy, it is pissing many people off. These developers are either incompetent or they're working with a terrible engine or dated tech.
  18. Since the latest patch, pass defense completely blows. Zone coverage is a mess. They just drift into a place completely unconnected to whatever is happening. They just watch people cross in front of their face while they continue to drift in the other direction.
  19. 987,643,252 "I'm a man" jokes for the rest of the week is gonna be awesome. Hilarious.
  20. "It was madness. Fat guys glistening like salt pork were throwing slow, lumbering haymakers. One guy got punched and he shit out a perfectly intact, unchewed chicken wing and an unopened can of Monster Energy. The entire area smelled of warm milk and a jar of pennies. Denim shorts were flying everywhere. Bon Jovi."
  21. Fat Cincinnati fans in jerseys fighting each other with a Bon Jovi song playing in the background. Riveting. There needs to be an NFL game played on the deck of a discount cruise where Waffle House is the primary vendor.
  22. Stroh is a stumbling lummox. A walking net negative on the line in every way. Oddly, the staff seems entirely committed to his detrimental presence. He played every snap. I find it really difficult to believe there's anyone on that unit that's worse than him. If so, an even greater indictment on Flood's unfolding buffoonery.
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