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Chooky

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Everything posted by Chooky

  1. When Putin realizes he can't restore a Tsarist State is he just gonna hurl some nukes like a toddler having a tantrum?
  2. Listen, Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again.
  3. Hold up. Uh, what are the words I'm trying to find? Please be patient. I want to express this delicately. Oh yeah! Here it is: "fuck you, you stupid bitch."
  4. Marco Rubio has acquitted himself very well throughout all of this. I've also been critical of him but his genuine disdain, free from any petty impulse of cheap political advancement, of a flagrantly authoritarian power grab will buy him well due credit from me. Rationality is a refreshing change of pace and deserves platitude on a case by case basis from every political aisle.
  5. If you drive a bangbus through South Florida you're gonna get laid whether you want to or not. You'll also have to figure out a polite way to tell a guy named Terry that he has to leave your bus for smoking meth out of a light bulb.
  6. This is a good reminder that many of us don't know shit about fuck.
  7. Excuse me, kind Vietcong gentlemen. My name is John Rambo. This is rather embarrassing, but I lost my coordinates when I was hiding in a huge basket of rice. Could you please direct me to the nearest prison camp? Preferably the one detaining Steve, Ron and Gary?
  8. We should counter by pulling all our outsourced tech support contracts.
  9. It will never be un-dumbed, just a continuous spiral of shame and disgrace. I never want to be uninformed but I often question why I bother keeping up with the accelerated degradation of my own state. I have to take mental refuge by separating the internal, of which I can control, and the external, of which I can only hope to laugh. These deranged cunts deserve to live in exactly what they're currently creating. I'll navigate through their sewage waterpark the best I can, I guess.
  10. Do they do that with air bags from a car?
  11. This is the latest political bombshell. Before AOC, I don't think anyone has ever been murdered in NYC. I might have to check the statistics on that, though. Either way, thanks a lot, AOC.
  12. It's pretty crazy that there was such a concentration of funny people in one space who didn't even know they were planting the seeds for five decades of iconic comedy. Imagine sitting in a writing room with Doug Kenney, PJ O'Rourke, Tony Hendra, Henry Beard and Michael O'Donoghue. Then on the periphery were guys like Chevy Chase, Bill Murray and John Belushi floating around. That would be a fun group to sit with in a bar.
  13. Don't be. He transcends party shit with humor. At worse, some bits will feel dated. I disagree with about 80% of George Will's opinions but he's probably my favorite writer still alive and I still read every column he turns out. It's sad, because you see him diminishing on occasion and he's very feeble in appearance. If you flip through 'Holidays in Hell' you'll be wondering what in the fuck happened to the Republican party. These guys won't be replaced and they lived long enough to witness firsthand that the GOP no longer had a seat for guys like them. It's no longer about small government. It's about striving for the biggest one the world has ever seen that's free from competition.
  14. America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
  15. Yep, it was a brilliant move to advance unarmed and beat a cop unconscious with their Trump flags. Yay team!
  16. Guys! This is a bowling alley! Not a Chuck E Cheese!
  17. It has never made sense to expect Mexico to get its shit together, but they really need to get their shit together. Billion dollar agricultural industries are being disrupted by morons with tattoos on their face. They're begging for a brief military occupation.
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