I was going to put this in the Shit my kids says thread but it's not really my kids so I'm putting it here. I volunteer in Destination Imagination, a creative problem solving challenge for kids. I've been doing it 20+ years. The kids are given challenges and then told to come up with creative ways to solve said challenges, including creating stories, building props and machines to perform given task. I went to the state tournament this weekend and there were probably 3000+ kids there 1st-12th grade. There were 18 middle school teams in our section. I won't bore you with the details of what they had to do but 2 gems fell under "things that kids say".
In the first group the device failed to work. We were talking to the kids about it and one of the girls, about 12 yo said (with a lot of hand gestures) "We used it for 4 weeks and it worked every time. But we bring it to state and it looks at us square in the eyes and says, SCREW YOU, I'm not working today."
The second gem had nothing to do with their machine but with their skit. The main points in there story: It took place in Alabama, the brother was too stupid to remember his own name, his sister was a pregnant teen, she faked the pregnancy for attention and the moral of the story told by the brother was "never trust your ex-wife" implying that he was married to and got his sister pregnant.