explaining the US and Covid-19, and where we are at currently, using football. an attempt at poetry.
It's 3rd and 12.
First drive of the game.
1st down was a simple slant route. Half the offensive line refused to acknowledge there was even a game that had started. They stayed in the locker room (irony!). The receiver yelled oppression at being asked to wear a helmet. He pointed to the kickoff returner, who's head was bashed in on the return, and yells no fair, he didn't have to wear a helmet! BuT mY rRigHtS!!!! The QB was sacked for a massive loss of 7. It is announced that the kickoff returner has died. Along with his grandma.
2nd down was a HB dive. We picked up a few yards right up the middle. It was boring. It took forever. Nobody was talking to each other in person. But it was productive. We might have something here. Wait what's that..... The umpire is getting heckled by the offensive line via twitter for spotting the ball correctly. They saw on facebook that we already got a first down. Actually we never didn't have a first down. 2nd and 3rd down are myths. Fake news. The fattest, fake blondest, cheeto-y-ist lineman looks straight into the sun..... smugly.
He has won.
He sends a victory tweet. The children are saved.
The down marker changes to 3rd.
It's 3rd and 12.
The LB coach is screaming at the offensive coordinator to tell him why he isn't allowed to go to church [He is allowed to go to church]. The OC has a new play and if everybody does their part we will gain a first down. The LB coach wants to know exactly how many people need to do their part, because he doesn't believe in the play and doesn't want to participate, and wants to tell like minded folk the same. But he still really wants a first down. Just not like that. So he can go to church again. But he saw a video on facebook that said the new play was made by bill gates and that's communism.
It's 3rd and 12.
Delay of Game.
It's 3rd and 17-(Q)
We are fucked.