this reminds me of something that happened to me recently.
i sat on a jury. not a good one. it was a bad one - super aggravated sexual assault of a minor under 6. victim remembered it at 10.
i won't get into details, but we ended up finding the guy guilty.
unsurprisingly, i was the last holdout on the uncertain part of the jury. i convinced myself with a couple of other reasons i'll not get into - but the point is this: there is a truth out there. there is what happened. that's the truth. then there are memories of what happened. those aren't always the truth even if they aren't always lies.
i had to understand and accept one thing to vote guilty: i would never, ever, ever know the truth about what happened on those two days. now, that was easier for others to get to than it was for me. we didn't have video, we had faulty, broken human memory.
prosecution told us that a not guilty verdict meant we didn't believe the victim's testimony. i resented that. i absolutely believed that everyone that testified was 100% convinced of the truth, even of there were differences in stories.
however, we did our best. and i think we got it right in the end. but i'll never know. i think i'll always struggle with that.
and i think i'll just always struggle with not knowing generally. i'd much prefer to be certain. it'd make life easier.
i'm baptized catholic. i've raised my sons in the church as much as i promised.
i believe everything in the bible is written as though it was truth. and i think they did their best, and got pretty close to right in the end. but we'll never know.
to answer your question: yeah, i have. once. not sure i'm still there, but it doesn't mean i don't consider myself catholic or christian more than anything else.
what's the purpose behind your question? because it seems like you've asked it more than once as a shield. jesus wouldn't do that. he's entertain challenges and questions and answer everything in good faith.
why won't you? jesus didn't require prerequisites to talk god stuff. why do you?