After 15 years of marriage we might have actually made some progress with this. The division of labor has always been, she packs the bags, totes, etc. and I pack the vehicle. I pack my own bag, of course, and maybe the kids' too. She packs her stuff and the food, supplies, etc. We're always rushing, so I would start to pack the vehicle before she was done packing the bags. Rookie move. You can't pack the vehicle until you have EVERYTHING packed. Inevitably I would tetris the fuck out of the car and she'd bring me two more large containers that she "forgot." I'd have to pull everything out and start over. Would piss me off bigtime. And, she refuses to use a fucking suitcase for her clothes and shoes. She uses open faced bags where everything can easily spill out and they have to be packed open side up. No matter how much I bitch and cajole she won't change. Nowadays, I tell her that I'm not going to start packing the car until she has everything packed. I've told her that it really better be everything because I'm going to be pissed if she brings out more shit after I'm almost done. Works much better. She still won't use a suitcase though.