Ojo Rojo

Can Dubon play left? If Brantley ain't coming back and we want Yordan to DH primarily, then that seems like a good way to keep him in the lineup.

I worked at the Furrow Building Materials store on N. Lamar in the late 90's. A guy just grabbed something off the shelf and walked out the front of the store to a waiting car. Like a dumbshit idealist, I ran out and got between him and the car door and told him, "You can leave, but you are not leaving with that." He handed it back to me, got in the car and drove away. I would not do that same thing today.

Some people are assholes. News at 11.

I don't believe this.

That didn't help. I still don't get it. Old black men eat shit that's weird to other people? Why does Russell Westbrook sneaking a bite of something show that? I've also never heard of black walnut ice cream.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That was someone else. Unfortunately.

Would still be a trap.

Well, not to be telling tales out of school, but unless she has mastered faking involuntary contractions of her butthole, back-arching and shaking along with the post-O "don't touch me anywhere" reaction, then she ain't faking.

She did recently tell me that she would be okay if I sought sexual gratification elsewhere. Me:

My wife doesn't enjoy sex (she says). She has orgasms, but says they don't feel good. She has major body image issues that go way back. She doesn't like the things that I like, sexually. So I said to her last night, "You should do X with me so at least one of us can be happy. You are going to be unhappy either way." She said, "That's the same thing as a husband telling his wife they cannot afford a LV purse and the wife goes and buys it anyway and tells him that at least one of them is happy." Not. The. Same. Thing.

Someone help me out. Why don't black chicks have any real hair? They all wear wigs, apparently.

Got a call this morning after my wife left the house to take two of the kids to school. She "clipped a curb" and tore a hole in one of her tires. Called AAA, but they were going to take an hour to get there and asked if I could come change the tire. I got there about the same time AAA did, 40 minutes later. I didn't say anything to her, but I did mutter "fucking idiot" when I got off the phone with her. Good times.

Don't forget Pena. He needs to stop sucking too.

Excuse me, I'm old. Who TF is that?

*raises hand* I feel like I need to wear one of those bear bell things hikers use.

I don't know why but these people annoy the fuck out of me. Wouldn't we all like for the rules to not apply to us? You think you have found some secret key to just opt out of everything you don't like? Ignorant and selfish. Two qualities I hate. Fuck these mf'ers.

I think it boiled down to two choices: 1) Spend all of the money available during the offseason to get the LF, C and maybe additional SP you think you need, or 2) Sign the biggest need of them all - 1B - re-sign your best reliever, re-sign Brantley and take the risk that he's the same guy he was in 2022 before injury, save the money you have to spend for the deadline, when you might be able to get someone with some team control at one of these positions of need. We probably have a playoff team as-is, so it's not like you have to spend everything you have just to get to the playoffs. Waiting until the deadline lets you know where you really need to commit your resources to make a WS run after all the variables play out - Brantley, injuries, Brown, all of our new dudes.

Brantley's stat line in 64 games last season: .288 .370 .416 .786 He also had 5 home runs. Projected out for an entire season, he hits 12. Power is nice, but hitting for average and getting on base is good too. I don't know. Just because we didn't have someone with the GM title doesn't mean there was no plan. I think they did exactly what they wanted to do. They signed a first baseman, re-signed one of our best relievers and held tight on pretty much everything else. They passed on some opportunities, but I think those decisions were deliberate, not because there was no one doing the job.

Like many of you, I don't understand why Chas is not our regular CF. I get wanting to test Meyers because he is/was considered to have a higher ceiling. At what point to you make that decision? Never? Given last season, that decision should have already been made. Now we're seeing what we have in Julks too. My guess is that Chas is the postseason starter unless he just gets flat beat out during the season, where these other guys are going to get some PT. Many people on this board only seem to appreciate offense for position players. Maldonado is not a good offensive player. This is known. His defense is just okay. Where he excels, and obviously what the organization and the pitching staff values, is his ability to call a game and handle pitchers. We won the fucking World Series last year, had a Cy Young winner and the best bullpen in the league with him as the primary catcher. He had something to do with all that. I also don't understand how some people can be so certain that Brantley is washed. He was doing well before he got injured last year. I realize the decline due to age can happen fast, but what are y'all looking at to see such a decline? I don't like the 3-4 start, at home, to the White Sox and fucking Tigers. But, it's only seven games and we're currently without our most important player. We're a different team with Altuve and Brantley. Offseason. Our roster has some holes; every roster in MLB does. We could have used a LF, C and SP. We signed Brantley to split LF and DH with Yordan. I'm okay with it. If he is what he has been then it was a great move. If he has seriously declined then I think it was a gamble worth taking. I'm okay with rolling with Maldy at C. Yes, he sucks offensively. But with our lineup (assuming our regulars are healthy) we can bear a hole in the 9 spot. I think he brings a lot of value to the team with what he does well. We came into the season with six legit starters. One being a fairly unproven rookie, but still. LMJ goes down and we're down to 5. So now we're looking a little thin. Should the FO have gone out and signed a SP instead? In my opinion, no. We've got some money left to spend this year. I expect the plan is to wait and see how the season shakes out. See what our record is at the deadline and who is doing well and who is not and plug the holes accordingly. I'd be good with that.

In a former life I sold replacement windows. I went to this house one time where the owner had gone on a 3-4 month sailing trip. Shortly after he left, a toilet fill valve malfunctioned and filled the entire house up with about 6" of water. I don't know how or why the bottom 6" was water tight, but it was. Came home after being gone and opened the front door and water and floating magazines and shit came pouring out. Black mold from floor to ceiling.

Hmmm...if it's money then my pussy-carrier must be broken because it's not working.

Do tell. Asking for a friend.