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Ojo Rojo

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Everything posted by Ojo Rojo

  1. Well, not to be telling tales out of school, but unless she has mastered faking involuntary contractions of her butthole, back-arching and shaking along with the post-O "don't touch me anywhere" reaction, then she ain't faking.
  2. She did recently tell me that she would be okay if I sought sexual gratification elsewhere. Me:
  3. My wife doesn't enjoy sex (she says). She has orgasms, but says they don't feel good. She has major body image issues that go way back. She doesn't like the things that I like, sexually. So I said to her last night, "You should do X with me so at least one of us can be happy. You are going to be unhappy either way." She said, "That's the same thing as a husband telling his wife they cannot afford a LV purse and the wife goes and buys it anyway and tells him that at least one of them is happy." Not. The. Same. Thing.
  4. Someone help me out. Why don't black chicks have any real hair? They all wear wigs, apparently.
  5. Got a call this morning after my wife left the house to take two of the kids to school. She "clipped a curb" and tore a hole in one of her tires. Called AAA, but they were going to take an hour to get there and asked if I could come change the tire. I got there about the same time AAA did, 40 minutes later. I didn't say anything to her, but I did mutter "fucking idiot" when I got off the phone with her. Good times.
  6. Don't forget Pena. He needs to stop sucking too.
  7. Excuse me, I'm old. Who TF is that?
  8. *raises hand* I feel like I need to wear one of those bear bell things hikers use.
  9. I don't know why but these people annoy the fuck out of me. Wouldn't we all like for the rules to not apply to us? You think you have found some secret key to just opt out of everything you don't like? Ignorant and selfish. Two qualities I hate. Fuck these mf'ers.
  10. I think it boiled down to two choices: 1) Spend all of the money available during the offseason to get the LF, C and maybe additional SP you think you need, or 2) Sign the biggest need of them all - 1B - re-sign your best reliever, re-sign Brantley and take the risk that he's the same guy he was in 2022 before injury, save the money you have to spend for the deadline, when you might be able to get someone with some team control at one of these positions of need. We probably have a playoff team as-is, so it's not like you have to spend everything you have just to get to the playoffs. Waiting until the deadline lets you know where you really need to commit your resources to make a WS run after all the variables play out - Brantley, injuries, Brown, all of our new dudes.
  11. Brantley's stat line in 64 games last season: .288 .370 .416 .786 He also had 5 home runs. Projected out for an entire season, he hits 12. Power is nice, but hitting for average and getting on base is good too. I don't know. Just because we didn't have someone with the GM title doesn't mean there was no plan. I think they did exactly what they wanted to do. They signed a first baseman, re-signed one of our best relievers and held tight on pretty much everything else. They passed on some opportunities, but I think those decisions were deliberate, not because there was no one doing the job.
  12. Like many of you, I don't understand why Chas is not our regular CF. I get wanting to test Meyers because he is/was considered to have a higher ceiling. At what point to you make that decision? Never? Given last season, that decision should have already been made. Now we're seeing what we have in Julks too. My guess is that Chas is the postseason starter unless he just gets flat beat out during the season, where these other guys are going to get some PT. Many people on this board only seem to appreciate offense for position players. Maldonado is not a good offensive player. This is known. His defense is just okay. Where he excels, and obviously what the organization and the pitching staff values, is his ability to call a game and handle pitchers. We won the fucking World Series last year, had a Cy Young winner and the best bullpen in the league with him as the primary catcher. He had something to do with all that. I also don't understand how some people can be so certain that Brantley is washed. He was doing well before he got injured last year. I realize the decline due to age can happen fast, but what are y'all looking at to see such a decline? I don't like the 3-4 start, at home, to the White Sox and fucking Tigers. But, it's only seven games and we're currently without our most important player. We're a different team with Altuve and Brantley. Offseason. Our roster has some holes; every roster in MLB does. We could have used a LF, C and SP. We signed Brantley to split LF and DH with Yordan. I'm okay with it. If he is what he has been then it was a great move. If he has seriously declined then I think it was a gamble worth taking. I'm okay with rolling with Maldy at C. Yes, he sucks offensively. But with our lineup (assuming our regulars are healthy) we can bear a hole in the 9 spot. I think he brings a lot of value to the team with what he does well. We came into the season with six legit starters. One being a fairly unproven rookie, but still. LMJ goes down and we're down to 5. So now we're looking a little thin. Should the FO have gone out and signed a SP instead? In my opinion, no. We've got some money left to spend this year. I expect the plan is to wait and see how the season shakes out. See what our record is at the deadline and who is doing well and who is not and plug the holes accordingly. I'd be good with that.
  13. In a former life I sold replacement windows. I went to this house one time where the owner had gone on a 3-4 month sailing trip. Shortly after he left, a toilet fill valve malfunctioned and filled the entire house up with about 6" of water. I don't know how or why the bottom 6" was water tight, but it was. Came home after being gone and opened the front door and water and floating magazines and shit came pouring out. Black mold from floor to ceiling.
  14. Hmmm...if it's money then my pussy-carrier must be broken because it's not working.
  15. Do tell. Asking for a friend.
  16. This exact thing happened to me. True story.
  17. Ursids of Meth
  18. Because it is something I am monitoring to see if I can continue such activity or if I'm going to have to have surgery, which affects her.
  19. He means salsa.
  20. This process has started with me too. She knows it. She accuses me of tuning her out, zoning out and pretending to listen. It's not intentional; it's a defense mechanism. I've just come to realize that easily 85% of the shit she says to me is either plain wrong, shit I don't want to hear or unnecessary filler. It's like, instead of telling me, "I went to Costco today," she tells me all the roads she took to get there. Why do women do this?
  21. Preface: My wife is one of these semi-anti-western medicine (aka "science") people. She doesn't accept the simple, medically sound explanations for shit and tries all kinds of herbal and new agey remedies. I have a torn labrum in my right shoulder. It hurts most of the time, but only acutely when I move in certain ways. I was given the options of surgery with a 6-month recovery time or just living with the pain. For now, because I can still do everything I want to do, I am living with the pain. This past Sunday I paddled a canoe 20 miles. It's the most strenuous exercise I've done that could affect my shoulder since I injured it. Yesterday and today, my shoulder has been hurting more than it had been. I told my wife this. She told me it was because of the way I sleep with my arm under my head; something I have done almost every night of my life, including constantly since I injured my shoulder. Me: "Or it could be that I paddled 20 miles yesterday." Tone. Postscript: Underlying this is my wife trying to find a way for this to be my fault. After nearly 14 years of marriage it has now become reflexive.
  22. Fucker, did you break into my home?
  23. One of my relatives just posted a video clip of Gaetz in a congressional military hearing where he said that military operations were suspended because someone found 51 whales (species previously unknown until 2021) in the area and that China purchased an oil platform in the Gulf of Mexico that is also being used for intelligence gathering. In the video he's sarcastically trying to skewer DOD and military officials testifying at the hearing over these issues. I had to come here to vent. Anything that comes out of his mouth is verbal diarrhea. If you can't decipher propagandist, out-of-context lies coming from this shitbag and his ilk, then you are an idiot and you should not be allowed to vote.
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