Saw this thread got bumped, so I'll post an update.
Since we took our son out of the private school last spring things have been better overall for us and him. I think he was so stressed out every day in that environment and he relaxed immediately after he was taken out of it. That allowed my wife and me to breathe a little bit too. We had the focalin scrip and we filled it, gave it to him for a couple of weeks, but it did not make his main issues any better at all. We got through the summer just fine. He was at camps and whatnot, so he wasn't in difficult environments for him. We still had to make a school decision. We opted for the public school in our neighborhood. It's a Montessori school and we thought the completely different curriculum that allows more choices and freedom of movement, etc. would be better for him. Plus, we figured the public school had more resources for this kind of thing and the teachers were probably used to and willing to put up with a lot more shit than the private school teachers.
The fall semester went really well. A few issues here and there, but overall he was doing great. We were in pretty constant contact with the teacher and her aide (who we knew from a previous school, which was a great bonus). During the spring, though, he started to regress to the same behaviors we saw last spring. My wife and I both got the feeling of "here we go again." Some of our son's behaviors were pretty severe - hitting other kids, knocking over furniture, running out of the classroom. The teachers took it way more in stride than the private school teachers, but still, things reach a point where they have to escalate. We are kind of at that point now. We decided to give the focalin another try. We dosed him last Sunday to see how it affected him. Not good. It was his little brother's birthday party day and my parents were in town, so there was a lot of stimulation. He was talking really fast and had a hard time getting all of his thoughts out. During the party, he isolated himself and just sat in a corner until we finally coaxed him to move to a better place for him to chill out. He kept saying weird shit, like how he had all of these problems and no one could fix them. It was kind of heartbreaking to witness. My wife and I decided that the focalin was a total disaster and that we weren't going to give it to him again. This caused us to think that maybe he was misdiagnosed altogether. His diagnosis was ADHD. I can't say I have the scientific definition memorized, but our son does not have problems keeping his attention on something. Quite the opposite actually. He is not hyperactive. Again, quite the contrary - he loves nothing more than to chill on the couch at home with his iPad. My theory is that he actually has OCD and possibly depression (just like me and probably several others in my family). We had a consult with the pediatrician and his psychologist. They agreed that we should discontinue the focalin. On Monday, he was still kind of experiencing the effects of the focalin and I could tell he was off, but we sent him to school anyway. He lasted fifteen minutes before the teacher texted my wife telling her that he was having a bad day and raging out. We probably could have left him there, but I went and picked him up and stayed with him at home until my wife could relieve me.
We were feeling a bit overwhelmed at that point. Luckily, while my wife was at work (she works at a swanky health club) one of her clients noticed something was wrong and my wife told her what was up. The client, who is a wealthy and connected older lady, stopped their session right then and there and put in a call to a friend who is a child psychiatrist. We had an appointment with another one, but the earliest we could get in was late April, which might've been too late for us. This new doc called back almost immediately and Voila! we got an appointment for next week. That's how the RPN (Rich People Network) works! Anyway, we're pretty excited about this new doc. My wife talked to him already and he understood the situation immediately. He also thinks maybe he was misdiagnosed and that focalin wasn't the right drug for him. So, right now we're just waiting for the psychiatrist appointment and we'll see what happens from there.