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Jameslaw121

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Jameslaw121

  1. We have a daughter in Girls Scouts. So Girl Scout cookies. Her : "Its taking forever to get the Cookie Mom to send me my cookies." Me (trying to stay as far away from this as fucking possible and also wondering WTF a Cookie Mom was) "Yeah, I'm sorry. But...what does the Cookie Mom do???" Her : "She gets the cookies to the parents, so they can deliver them." Me (Obviously disappointed with that answer)" Oh bummer, what's the hold up?" (Thinking full well that any logistical problems will soon become me and cookie mom's husbands problems). Her : "Her husband has been in the ICU for five days." ME (thinking, welp, nope this just became my problem didn't it) "Well, I think that's a fucking good excuse." ............. TLDR I have 40 cartoons of girl scout cookies in my office if anyone wants to buy them Adrienne's Girl Scout Pyramid Scheme
  2. My wife is one of those people who always brings home any type of plastic cups. Since we have two kids, we literally get like 3-4 of these a week. Used to annoy me. Then I found out that I had dog food cups, tooth brush holders ect.. that I replace about every two weeks
  3. But... were they open? Did you get tamales. Same. I rarely drink on a worknight anymore unless there is something going on. And it's usually just wine. When we were dating, she heard wild stories from my friends, but didn't really believe them. Or at least thought they were exaggerated. But, one time, back when I worked 60-70 hours a week, I was randomly off, I told her I had a bottle of whiskey I have been wanting to open. Told her I would just come over to her house after lunch and wait for her to get home from work. Sip on some whiskey until she got home. Morgan Freeman voice "He did not sip." She thought it was funny. But, she does take my phone away during whiskey UT games....
  4. https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/USCODE-1994-title36/html/USCODE-1994-title36-chap10.htm#:~:text=During rendition of the national,hand being over the heart. §171. Conduct during playing During rendition of the national anthem when the flag is displayed, all present except those in uniform should stand at attention facing the flag with the right hand over the heart. Men not in uniform should remove their headdress with their right hand and hold it at the left shoulder, the hand being over the heart.
  5. Say "Will ND have a chance to win their 12th NC." One more time without mentioning their last was in 1988
  6. @Helobious for facts @Steel Shank culinary wisdom and commercial grade toilets @Brisketexan for Michelin ratings of restaurants and gas station food in the RGV and central Texas areas
  7. Almost in the 4th and we have all of 128 yards of offense
  8. Defense is exhausted. ASU can run it for 5 yards a carry from now on.
  9. I wonder who is actually responsible for making that decision?
  10. For those who think not returning you shopping carts or having 18 items in the 15 item express lane. I have new one. Got a gift certificate to Main Event. Took the 11 yo for some just Dad and Son time. Got there right when they opened, so playing billiards while waiting for the Laser Tag to get going. Not a single table being used. No one at all sitting in the billiard's area. A couple, I guess waiting on someone, decided the table top right behind our table (the one that is probably for this particular billiards table) is the perfect place to sit. My son almost backstrokes into them like three times, and he politely asked them to move a little bit so he could shoot. Finally, after about 10 minutes of this. I walked over and said "y'all guys maybe want to move to any of the 500 free tables so my 11 year don't crush you face with a cue stick?
  11. Well. That was Karma.......And totally worth it
  12. Congrats to all you fuckers who picked OU.
  13. Oops. Hope you weren't trying to get somewhere today: Well. fuck airlines
  14. One of the reasons I do the bowl mania is to give me a reason to watch these type of games and having some rooting interest.
  15. I normally have a tradition of reading this storIy by myself Thanksgiving night, but decided that it was time jameslaw jr was ready (he's in 6th grade now. We also added Die Hard to him movie watching) He lost it at "I put his fat add up there last week!"
  16. I don't believe in the death penalty. Find every case of torture & rape. Spend one hour explaining to him what was done to the innocent civilian. Then explain that we are going to do the same thing to him until he's almost dead. Then were will have doctors complete cure you. And then we will go on to the next case of torture and rape. rinse and repeat. And make it public for the next tyrant to see
  17. From what I understand. The thing to know about Russia. Moscow (and St. Petersburg) = Real Russians. All the rest of the aren't "Real Russians." They are second class (or worse). Kinda like how we treat migrant farm workers here. Or maybe like Hunger Games. Until the middle and upper class in Moscow really feel scared or financially ruined, they wont care what's happening. Its too far away
  18. The Taco Casa one is basically the same as the late 80's early 90's Taco Bell. And was exactly what I was going for. Honestly, thought about deep frying the burritos then just pouring the red sauce/cheese over them and broiling until the cheese melts. But they were frozen. Next time, I'll plan ahead and thaw them first.
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