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Jameslaw121

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Jameslaw121

  1. Didn't really know where to put this. My son (12yo) is been really getting into hot sauce. So for his birthday I bought him a bunch of different bottles. The traditional stuff, like Cholula, Tobasco, Valentines, ect. plus a few ones that looked unique. Couple of nights ago, he pulled out a bag of Flammin' Hot Cheetos and covered it was some of the hot sauces. Next morning him : "Why is my asshole of fire???"
  2. Today Me: (trying to plan ahead so I can spend Saturday watching football) what time is my mom getting 7yo daughter (no pics sickos) Her :7 yo really wants me to go with her to the party, if I can talk her out of it she'll go in the morning but if not I'll take her to the party and your mom can meet me there and take her home Me : while I'm sure that was an answer to some question by someone at some point. That really doesn't help know anything about what the actual plans are.
  3. It's almost like some Nazi engineers were able to resettle in Houston/Downey, CA/ Cape Carnevale and avoid prosecution....Weird
  4. The thing that bugs me the most is when I see a pick up truck in the left hand lane. I can't tell you exactly why that bugs me more than any other vehicle. I think subconsciously, think that if you drive an F150 or something similar, you should either know the curtesy rules or you really don't need a pick up, you just have a small penis
  5. 6 drinks a week. Yeah, That's what I meant
  6. Well.... I guess hello football season....
  7. I started doing this about a year ago. Also, if anyone is wondering who the lady walking down the very center of the aisle at HEB very slowly while stopping repeatedly to check prices. It's my wife. I've given up. We don't go to the grocery store together anymore
  8. I don't even know what a strike zone is anymore
  9. ^^^^^^ Lake front property with a large pool. And fried frog legs practically delivered to you? This is how you humble brag
  10. Joc and tellez. Exactly how I thought it would go
  11. That's what I thought. But both times (I think) the Ump said they lost their challenge All in all, crappy weird game
  12. Anyone get an explanation about the extra challenge the angels got?
  13. I do this. Been doing it since we started dating. I think the record was walking into a restaurant, getting a table, ordering a drink, and the drink arrived before she did. Now, my 5 year daughter.... That another story.
  14. We got a new AC last week ($14K, fuck) with a Nest thermostat. I told my wife that the app can only be on one phone. So far that seems to be working.
  15. Mine too. Last night, crushed some fresh mint with simple syrup - then half rum/half lime mineral water. Might need to keep that around for post lawn care days.
  16. And if the dad catches you with either of them, you can get away quickly
  17. Any UT or Texas HS kids we should look for? I don't really keep up with it
  18. Raised on Miracle Whip as well. After a decade of using Duke as my go to mayo. I saw a small jar of Miracle Whip and bought it. It was fucking god awful. One more happy child hood memory died that day
  19. New go to green sauce.
  20. Mojitos and my dog waiting for me to say it's okay before he eats the chip off my shirt
  21. Little afternoon snack. Left over HEB beef dog, some German mustard, and a Nathans pickles
  22. The BIC pen added the hole to the lid in 1991 to kids stupid kids from chocking on them
  23. Dead Tom Clancy has the biggest erection right now
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