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Marfa Low Crown

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  1. Marfa Low Crown

    High

    Alright, long time listener first time poster. Favorite sativa : Sweet Island Skunk Favorite indica : Royal Purple Kush Riding out the quarantine with 2 zips of Gas, 1 of Hindu Kush, & about a half of some sativa hybrid that I have no idea what it is. For smoking I definitely prefer the sativas but I usually make tincture and with that the strain doesn't seem to matter quite as much. Like everyone else I've had bunk edibles, some that were even supposed to be good, but tincture has been a game-changer. I mix 2 oz. everclear with 1/4 oz of decarbed flowers and I've found 3-4 full droppers of this foul tasting concoction, depending on strain potency, is an all-access pass to the spirit world. Yeah, you do run the risk of over dosing it and ending up under the covers for a few hours hiding from the world and an angry God ... but I can't smoke herb fast enough to get nearly that high otherwise. Although I've heard great things I don't have access to concentrates, pens, etc without having it mailed and that's a risk I've stayed away from. So for me, tincture it is... unless I'm on the front porch with the dugout and a cocktail laughing at cars, joggers, and the police station 3 houses down.. as I'm currently doing. 🤘
  2. Worse? This had me feeling like I was back on the old Hornfans 😆
  3. On the chance that this runs in the family even just a little bit.... Does this gal have a sister?
  4. They're all different but that round bale likely weighs in excess of 600lbs. If all he got out of that was a broken arm or hand he's lucky.
  5. Sadly, Amelie lived her life like a candle in the wind. Before I could respond, that and a few other BS accounts that had contacted me were deleted from my inbox. I've come to realize you've got to move fast. It's not a total loss, I was able to modify and re-use a good part of my response when sweet Olivia came along this morning.... Let the beautiful dance of love begin....
  6. I'm not sure if I could even stop myself. There's also this......
  7. Needed to run some big city errands and got back from two days with the ex-girlfriend. On the one hand it was nice to see her and on the other I was re-reminded of some of the reasons why I broke up in the first place. Regardless, I got neither action nor even near a designated orifice on the visit. I didn't expect to get laid to begin with but the mandatory Bruce Willis 12 Monkeys scrub-down she made me do when I got there, or anytime I left and came back, certainly guaranteed it. She's working from home so I whacked off to porn in the guest room while having periodic conversations with her from her office a door down. Ahhh, felt like I had just stepped back into the last 10-12 months of our relationship. Good times. Regardless, none of this matters because I finally got something cooking online. It took a while and a lot of BS but even in a pandemic, patience pays. Got a nice email from this gal today. Gents, meet Amelie. For me she passes the eyeball test, love those hips, and Murphy has always been one of my favorite Croatian last names. Yeah, the distance is a little far but I'm a college educated guy who prefers to wear a blue collar and this matchup is feeling like kismet. Love begins with love and an ocean or even a pandemic can't stop that. Still working on my response... need to get it right.. don't want to appear desperate or eager... but I did want to keep you guys in the loop.
  8. Are the sooners going to pay for it?
  9. I went to massage therapy school about 20 years ago and I'm tempted to add it to the list. My tuition paid for itself in the bedroom over the years so it's not a total waste but without a good bit of advanced training there's a pretty hard earning ceiling you run into if your thumbs, hands, forearms, what-not don't give out on you first. Much like chef school there's the idealization of the profession vs. the hard reality and a lot of folks aren't ready for that. I would say 90% of my class had gone on to other things and weren't doing massage as a profession even a year after we graduated. This made for a great foot in the mouth moment when, at a restaurant I was managing, I ran into one of the owners of the massage school I'd attended some 18 or so months earlier. She asked how the restaurant business was and without a moment of self awareness I bleated, "Great! We have some problems with turnover in the kitchen though. I feel badly for all these people that get into debt going to chef school only to find out they're going to be pulling mats and cleaning fryers for $10 per hour. The weed out rate is unbelievable and like massage therapy school, the people who are actually making money on this are the ones who own the school.". She never came back.
  10. Somebody needs to grab that stick and shove it up that cop’s fucking ass.
  11. I tend to think that if you have to wipe you've made the winner's circle but @Prepuce of Doom is the resident expert for all shart-related clarifications.
  12. My memory is that both LJS and Taco Bell bypass the stomach and go directly to the asshole. Three days of clamping down the diarrhea hose probably has your sphincter in competition shape. I'd give the contest a shot man
  13. Sooooo f'n bored with this quarantine. Got a little toasty last night and ended up on the shart thread this morning. Do it again today? 🤘
  14. Got up to make coffee and judging by the looks of things in the kitchen, dinner last night was Shiner Cerveza Verano and a half gallon of Blue Bell Cookie Dough. Fuggit, that's some state pride boy. After a night like that, none of what happens next should be any surprise. Today's shart is brought to you by the letter "G". Standing at the coffee pot coming back to life and feel a honker working down the pipeline. Felt like I could smooth double tap a dyad on the horn until the surprise payload made it a triad with a true brown note. Unfortunately the closest bathroom to the crime scene was also the one lowest on toilet paper. There was just enough paper left for a normal shit... and by that I mean one that all ends up in the toilet. Decisions were made and this is how I came to start my day by wiping my ass with my own underwear and taking a shower with my pants. Two dashes and a splat. I'm Marfa Low Crown and my call sign is Sierra Hotel Alpha Romeo Tango.
  15. Bro, lemme know when you're gonna start hittin' that brake cleaner and I'll come over 🤘
  16. No meth, but it's past time to start drinking today. Heck, I didn't even mention the woman with the jailhouse tattoos of cowboy hats on her titties. Enormous floppers these things, and the home job cowboy hat tattoos were clearly inked as head wear for her areola... whose radius is likely measured in parsecs and puts mall pizza pepperoni slices to shame. She also couldn't spell her home town correctly.
  17. I need the 2005 box of Wheaties with Mack on the front because my Mr. T cereal box hasn't seen a pussy this century.
  18. Alright I have an update. Okay. It's not really an update but it's the post this thread needs and the one I deserve, apparently. There's been some hope and some disappointment. There was the gal whose occupation was as a foot model on a porn site. She never wrote back. Another one had monster titties but was in a wheel chair. I'm still working some leads...a crazy psych nurse (truly redundant statement) with some respectable hangers I'm trying to reel in but overall it's still not going well. As previously stated, my small town location is already a big problem to breaking the seal on 2020 but this flu business is emerging as darn near a deal-breaker. Pretty unreasonable of these women to not wanna go out with and cozy up to a stranger in the midst of a global pandemic. Patience plays here. Online dating is nothing more than a sales funnel and I'm not abandoning it yet. You look at 100, you message 5-10, get some interest from 1-2 and rinse repeat until something sticks. Every once in a while in life a woman will break the girl code and tell us men what we have already known about them our entire lives : women often don't even know exactly what it is they want. That's why despite what 100% of these ladies say... I'd say most actually DO want to get laid.. and sooner rather than later. When last I did this online thing...I pulled the wool on the first or second date on 4 out of 5 women I went out with. Some things may have changed in these years but I doubt this has. However, since this is taking a while I've come up with a 2-point plan that's going to fix everrrrything... I'm expanding my search for getting laid in 2020 from public sites to include the private sector ...which I'll detail at the end of this post. First, a few more observations about this online dating business: There are way more tattooed women than there were a decade ago. These tattooed women online remind me a lot of firefighters, anyone who ever played pro sports, crossfitters, pipeline welders, or the Plan 2 students when I was at UT. They cannot not tell you this thing. So, if they have tattoos they are absolutely going to make sure you know about it early and often. They have to tell you about it, apparently they're bound to a life-threatening obligation they've made. If the gal regularly exercises it's going to be the same with the addition that you'll need to see at least one gym bathroom selfie in case you're the dense type that wasn't initially awed. One thing that remains unchanged is if a woman has diva, goddess, or queen in her user name she's pushing or beating 200lbs. If she has more than one of these keywords in her name you can add 50lbs for each... so like..you can be confident an Austin_Diva_Queen72 type would be a 250lber. Or more. F'n for sure. Same as it ever was, the actual good looking women you'd really want to bang aren't browsing men. They're answering emails, screening dick pics, and modifying their profiles to chew out every man on the site while simultaneously renouncing their vaginas. If you want in on all that you're going to have to go them. Every site is going to have some lunkers, some long-time hoggers, that will rise like leviathans from the depths to potentially engulf every new guy that shows up. The big ones have to really work it and I get that... you'll get an email from at least one. Unlike 10 years ago there are way more fake accounts and bots. That super model looking account with one picture that messages you from Prague about how interesting you are... Yeah, that's not real. Let that create pause in adding real $ into any of these sites.. half or more of the 'likes' and other things you have to pay to see are going to be fictitious BS. I have also noticed a slight but consistent over representation of Gemini & Aquarius on these dating sites. I can only assume that these are the craziest signs of the zodiac and the ones most likely to still have you single in your 40's and beyond. Also, there are a fair amount of hair stylists. Why? Because of course there f'n are. Speaking of crazy, many profiles are a hot mess of roadblocks that leave me feeling almost like I just walked in unannounced while the gal was changing clothes or something. I'm not kidding, half of these bios make me feel like - I - , the gentle reader, was somehow responsible for their last fucked up relationship. In fact, if you're packing male equipment and reading any of what I'm saying here right now then you're fucking responsible and these women are mad at you too bro. Own it already you f'n bastard. Regarding photos... There seems to be about the same amount of duck face as there once was. It'll never go away I'm afraid. There are now photo filter things where women can not only have mouse noses or rainbows shooting out of their ears, they can also apparently doctor up their photos -significantly-. That's kind of a problem. Women have their own promo posters now too. It's nice to see a picture of a duck faced gal in a forced and bossy pose with a bunch of inspirational quotes about paying her own bills and not needing a man. With butterflies. There's also some kind of 'live' feature where women interact on video or some shit. I haven't looked into it and have written it off as attention seeking that is both gay as fuck and regarded. I guess they don't realize that in under a minute I can be watching a woman live stream a sex act with a Strudel while I smartly wear the clown shoes in the comfort and privacy of my own home . Top that shit. Lastly, many women will have at least one group photo where it's your job to figure out which one she is. This is painless and easy if you use a system. Know that there will usually be at least one hot one your eyes will go to first in the picture. Yeah, that's not her. Your gal is going to be the second to least or least attractive one in the picture. If there is more than one hot friend then whichever one in the picture you'd bang last.. Yep, that's her. Oh, and she's older and heavier than in that picture now too. Salud. Summing up online dating? Alright... so where to go from here? Current options in the private sector: At the time of this writing, these represent the most intriguing options outside of online dating for getting my dick off the sidelines and into the fight in 2020. a) The recent ex-girlfriend We talk regularly and maintain a great friendship. With the time and space we've now had apart she -might- remember that she, too, has not been laid in 2020 or that she likes it in the pooper while getting her hair pulled. I have to get some more stuff from her house in a few days anyways. Not going to push the issue but I am going to hope just a little. Odds of banging ex-gf : 25-35% b) The cleaning lady Natalie Pros: sufficiently flirty, older... but still within SAM range for tracking and targeting, big ol' butt, probably not been laid in a good while Cons: I'm no genius but I'm guessing there's a few things that could go wrong, maybe even really wrong, with banging the cleaning lady. The bigger problem here, though, is it's a mushy butt. I had the chance to get a fair accounting of Natalie's ass in tight white pants on her walk to the car the other day and while it has a nice shake it's pretty lumpy. Odds of banging Natalie while sober: 10-15% Odds of banging Natalie while not sober : 30-50% c) The girl at the vet clinic Pros: younger, cute, friendly, nice big ass, decent tits, strong legs and great f'n hips. Cons: Insufficient conversations / connection. Some chatting but unless I ran into her in town somewhere, I don't really have a valid reason to go back to the vet clinic to lay more groundwork. Odds of banging the vet clinic girl: 0-5% Odds of banging the vet girl after introducing a plague level infestation of fleas into the house thus requiring several more visits to the clinic : 5-10% d) Ex-ex former drug addict girlfriend Pros: bi-sexual, likes porn, PhD level blowjobs, seriously one of the most fantastically corrupted and talented women I've met who's up for just about anything Cons: crazy as fuck (of course) , may not be single, is most likely broke, would have to fly her in from out of state or travel , I don't want to risk running into anyone I know while she's with me so if I hosted I'd have to pick a town sufficiently far from home, weed is her thing so would have to stock provisions enough to keep her stoned 24/7, not the sharpest knife in the drawer.. for example.. she thought the moon was a star until I explained to her what a star was and what a planet was. Basically nothing in common whatsoever except sex. Odds of banging crazy ex-ex GF if available and she still remembers I started dating ex-gf the day after we broke up : 50-75% Odds of banging crazy ex-ex GF if available and she does not remember all that : 95-100% TLDR: I now pass the torch back to you assholes who are actually getting laid 🤘
  19. I mean that’s cute and quaint & all but show me the travel version that can analyze my boxers at a moments notice & maybe then I’m impressed. #ShartThread #ShartLife
  20. Yeah, Gil that’s an awesome post. I mean... I still hate you for having your shit sorted out honest and still getting laid, but that’s an awesome post . Fuck....and so much about the sex drive switchers after marriage. I jussssst dodged that & it positively would have happened 😞
  21. Marbling the ribeyes is my guess 🤘
  22. The family has about a 2000 acre cow/calf operation going on down here distributed among several parcels. The part of the state that I just left is almost entirely black cows with the very occasional Hereford or Charolais seen. Something about that black Angus ad campaign over 30 years ago I guess 🤔 Here it is way more grab bag cattle & they shop the sale barn. I may or may not get involved down here but after observing a trap with about 30 Brahman heifers that would not let me get within 250 yards of them....One thing I determined was that I was not going to be on foot in the pens with any of these cows. they use dogs and horses down here and based upon what I’ve seen you’d have to. lolz After I laughed with the ranch foreman and told him that most of our free-range deer were more tame than his cows he basically said exactly this:
  23. Noooooo doubt. Old, crazy, prolapse prone, infertile, gimpy... if we were selling anything other than 5-6 weight calves at the sale barn there was a REASON we were getting rid of it. Have seen this thread for a while and debated joining it. I just left a ranch management job of 5 years in the Kerrville / Mountain Home area and I was working as a hand for a few years before that. Job didn't end well and I'm pretty f'n burned out on farm and ranch.... but it kind of gets in your blood.. so here I am. I'm down around Shiner now, riding out the flu, and this is definitely cattle country down here. SUCH better pastureland than on top of the Edwards Plateau.. everyone seems to like crazy ass Brahmans down here too. @ OP I think I recognize your pens from the welding thread. Any plans to put cattle panel / sheet metal on the inside walls of the chute? In the sometimes chaos of loading I'd be concerned a lower leg / hoof would get stuck between the horizontal sucker rods and get broken.
  24. Ahhh.... aggy. “From the outside looking in, you can’t understand it. And from the inside looking out, you can’t explain it.”
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