Girlfriend woke up briefly and it's not good.....
Me: I have some questions
Her: <eyes narrowing> I bet you do
Me: I have no memory of paying the bar tab.
Her: I paid it
Me: Pizza... did I... where did that come from exactly?
Her: You called it in and you walked in to pick it up
Me: Did I eat any of it
Her: Yes, right before you passed out on the couch.. which is one thing... but that was after you peed all over the toilet
Me: I what?
Her: Yep
Me: Do you still love me?
Her: Yes. No more rumpleminze.. K?
Welp... a few years ago I had to part with jagermeister this way, too..
Me: Why are there 3 dirty pans on the stove? Did you get up extra early and make breakfast already
Then girlfriend : <eyes narrowing> No. You did.
Me: I what?
Then girlfriend: You made a three course meal at 4am and woke me up for it
Me: what?
Then girlfriend: You were very sweet and polite but you also weren't taking no for an answer
Me: jesus fucking christ
Then girlfriend: Then you passed out in the hallway...so I left you there... and then you woke me up about 2 hours later to give me a wet towel
Me: a what?
Then girlfriend: Yeah, you were convinced I had bbq sauce on my fingers and you wanted to give me a hot towel.
Me: Did I make bbq?
Then girlfriend: No, you made omelettes. No more Jager... k?