orangebird

So they just cosplay at being champions. That totally tracks.

Phil Knight is worth over $40 billion. $75 million to a guy like Knight is a rounding error. If Phil Knight wants you to stay, he absolutely has the cash to make it happen.

I'd support aggy poaching Rhule from Corn Aggy, if only to see the spectacular meltdown of Corn Aggy over a program like aggy poaching their coach. 50/50 chance Rhule would work out at aggy...I feel like I've seen this movie before, several times.

I'll give him a pass for now, being his first year and all. But yeah, if he's still pulling this shit in year three, then Ohio State definitely made the right call.

They seriously believe Ryan Day would leave Columbus for that shithole? Holy fuck they're even more delusional than I previously gave them credit for. That's practically Jim Jones level of cult delusion. Though Luke Fickell might have taken that call a year ago when he was still at Cincinnati...he's the dude Ohio State passed over for the HC gig, if memory serves.

Having had a day to digest this news, I'm not really surprised. The only thing that really surprised me was the timing. They could have waited out the remaining two games and cut Jimbo loose, and nobody would have batted an eye, other than that ridiculous payout. On the other hand, I gotta give Jimbo a lot of credit. He fleeced those gomers for a dollar amount I previously wouldn't have thought possible. The man could go buy an island in the South Pacific, surround himself with hula girls, and never work another day in his life with all the money aggy has to pay him now. My heart tells me that anyone who takes that job is a damn fool. But then my head realizes that it's the easiest con in the world. Just convince those gomers you're worth a damn, get hired, halfass your way through the job, and then collect Fuck You money on your way out the door. How do I sign up for that gig? At the end of the day, aggy gonna aggy. It's what they do. You can set your watch to it.

Might have something to do with TCU targeting our players with dirty plays all night - especially the Brooks tackle where the defender twisted his knee. But I'm just speculating here.

I was pretty annoyed at the time, but shit, you're 100% correct here.

Not a surprise, Dusty Dvoracek is a fucking Sooner. He'd root for Nazi Germany if they were playing against the Longhorns. I had the TV on mute for much of the game, much more pleasant viewing experience...aside from Texas shitting the bed in the second half.

Glad we won, but holy fuck that second half was infuriating. 3 points by the O? We're damn lucky we didn't lose.

Yeah...we don't really do that here.

2nd and 16, let's call a run right into the teeth of the TCU D line. Just fucking shoot me now, it will be less painful than watching this play out.

How the fuck did this team beat Alabama? They wouldn't beat Blinn Junior College the way they're playing right now.

Ewers throwing the ball short of the sticks to a receiver who was double covered? Feels like I've seen this movie before.

Just once I'd like a game where I don't have to fucking stress out in the second half. I know...if you don't love Sarkball, then you don't love this...

Huge FG there by Auburn.

BRB, stealing one of those burnt TCU weenies as a burnt offering for Brooks.

Just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu.

Well fuck. Hopefully now this team will fucking wake up and put the cockroaches away.

Too cute with the playcalling there.

I actually don't mind the Danny DeVito Jersey Mike's commercials all that much. I'd like to launch the Burger King dude singing off-key into the sun, though.

Been a long time since I've seen a Texas D this salty. Warms my heart.

Look, I get drinking while barbecuing. But shit, homie, if you get so drunk you burn all the BBQ, then it's time to get a designated barbecuer.

And salt the field on our way out.

Brooks balling out this game so far. Good times are back on the menu, folks!