SpiralOut

This Weah dude is kinda fast, ain't he.

Sooooooo close!

Zimmerman has been great tonight.

Dat boy from Texas!

YES!

Love Turner playing the ball forward quickly to get that whole sequence started. We're great on attack. So fucking attack! Push that pace and bury them!

Pepi! Love that kid!

We sure this ref ain't secretly from Jamaica? The Jamaicans might as well continue what they've been doing in the first half for the final 45. Anytime they get beat and one of our guys is 1 on 1 with the keeper, pull them back/down or just kick them from behind to stop the attack.

And that's why you don't sub Ronaldo off. Even when he has a bad game he still has the magic to get it done late. Also, goddamn but Cavani still has it. Dude is out there pressing like a guy ten years younger. Loses the ball on that last sequence and then just straight muscles the defender off it.

Goddamn I love that guy. GOAT by a country mile. Him killing Aggie in our (formerly) last game ever with them was too sweet for words.

Excited about this one. Great start so far.

Tottenham's pets' heads are falling off.

That counterattack was a thing of beauty.

I think Brugge looked wildly better than PSG today. Maybe having Mbappe, Neymar, and Messi up front isn't so awesome if your midfield stinks and your defending is rather trash.

Haaland is just a freak. Huge dude who can get it into the back of the net any which way. And he seems to have that same drive to be the best that Ronaldo has. Read something about him scoring 9 goals in a game once and being pissed because he could have scored 10. Really though, they're both special players and I'm absolutely fine with getting to see them become the next Ronaldo/Messi All-World duo.

Ronaldo with more goals in the EPL than Arsenal.

When are they ever?

Cameltoe was nice behind surrender cobra guy.

10 yard minimum.

Can't believe I forgot to do this. But anyway, better late than never, right?

The Aggy of soccer pulls defeat from the jaws of victory yet again. LUL

Goddamn I love this game.

What an awful attempt by Rashford. Like laughably bad.

Hoping to see England lose just for the luls.

Told this story before on the old Shag, but it's worth a repost. I'll leave a TL;DR at the end if you wanna save some time. So this was way back in like Fall of '06. I was just about to graduate UT in the Spring and was living off of Rundberg (yeah, it had its moments) in condo with my girlfriend who, since she wasn't in college, was dancing at Perfect 10 to make herself some walkin' around money. She had a cousin that was trying to become a police officer or some such and was doing training in Austin. His girlfriend was this other chick named Jane (names changed to protect the innocent and the guilty). Well my GF and Jane end up becoming sorta kinda friends and going to parties together. At one, they meet this other gal with ginormous natural tits named Stephanie. Well my GF and Stephanie really vibe with each other and they become besties. So much so that Stephanie and her huge tits also start dancing for cash. Needless to say, I'm thrilled with this entire arrangement. Many fun times were had. Anyway, the fly in the soup on this whole deal is that Stephanie has a boyfriend. And he's from Kentucky. No idea how this Austinite girl met a guy from Kentucky, but his name is Harold and he's coming down to visit her. Ok, great. He'll come down, we'll wine and dine him, take him to the club, out on the town, and it'll be swell. Except Stephanie is like really hesitant to talk about this boyfriend. We can't really get any info on him. But whatever. No big deal! So Harold comes to town from Kentucky and he and Stephanie show up at my place. Shake his hand and at first he seems like a good dude. The girls go upstairs to finish getting ready, I crack this dude a cold one, and chat him up as you're supposed to do. Well things are going alright until he just out of nowhere starts negging everything about Austin, my place, the Longhorns, etc. Like out of left field a switch got flipped and he turned into this huge asshole. And we haven't even made it out of the damn house yet. Fuck. Well, nothing to do but soldier up, act like everything is cool, and get on with the night. Oh, and he won't shut up about how he's a cook at some restaurant owned by the Dixie Mafia and it won't be long before he's in with them and a made guy or some such nonsense. Like, would not shut the fuck up about how important he was because he cooked for the Dixie Mafia. Fucking weird. We swing by the club for awhile and hang, but for some reason the girls wanted to go bowling. Fine by me, I'm just trying to get this night over with since this Harold guy just won't let up on being a cunt. We head to the bowling alley by 183 and while we're bowling, this guy tells me that Stephanie isn't anywhere near the hottest chick he's fucked and that he's been trying to hook up with another gal in Kentucky. Who the fuck says that to basically a complete stranger while your girl is six feet away bowling? To a guy who knows and is friends with your girl? Oh, and Stephanie wasn't a 10 or anything, but you weren't kicking her and her perky double Ds out of bed for eating crackers. So I'm getting more and more skeeved out by this dude as the night drags on, but hey its finally time to leave! Awesome! Well, Harold brings a beer with him from the lanes into my truck. Whatever, I'm driving and I'm sober, it's fine. Until, on the way back home he throws it out the back window and almost hits another car with it. So that happened. Then the girls wanted to stop at a sex shop as a goof. Fine. Except on the way out, Harold trips Stephanie on purpose after they have an argument over something. He gets back in the truck and leaves her there on the ground. So I get her up, ask her if she's ok, get her in the truck, and ask him what the fuck his problem is. Stone cold silence from this guy. Won't look at me or say a word. Awkward as all fuck. We get back home and are walking in and I'm dreading this dude coming in and staying for awhile longer. I'm going over what I have to say to this prick to get him to bounce while not being too big of an asshole since he's Stephanie's boyfriend and I don't want to cause problems, etc. Luckily, he says he and Stephanie are going to head on back to her place. Thank fucking Christ! As soon as me and the GF get the door shut we just look at each other and shake our heads while agreeing we're never having that dude anywhere around us ever again. Fast forward a few years. Stephanie, being the genius she is, hasn't dumped this psycho. She's actually moved to Kentucky to live with him. Except, of course, he's a psycho so it doesn't work out and she bails. She's working as a cocktail waitress at some big club up there and she ends up hooking up and living with some guy she works with there. Well, ol' Harold doesn't take this very well. He calls her hundreds of times a day. He slashes her tires. He spray paints the house her and this dude are living in. Well, rightfully, Stephanie is freaked out about this so she calls her parents to come up to Kentucky. The parents get there and instead of involving the cops, they decide to invite Harold over and have an intervention. Tell him it's over. He's gotta leave Stephanie alone or they will get the cops involved. Except Harold brought his gun. He plugs new boyfriend with five shots, killing him. Then he turns the gun on himself and blows his brains out. So I spent an entire afternoon/evening with a future murderer and I knew almost from the jump he wasn't right in the head. Tl;DR: Stripper girlfriend's stripper bestie invited her boyfriend down to hang, he was a psycho, and eventually ended up murdering stripper girlfriend's bestie's new boyfriend before killing himself