Elvis

If I have an open casket, maybe put me in a game day suit and tie plus a my old football helmet with a lit Marlboro light. My dads funeral in January. He looked great in his West Texas Rodeo Hall of fame shirt brush popper style shirt. His boots were incorporated into the floral spray on the open casket. We kept the boots and my son was a Paul bearer wearing his Black beaver Resistol that matched mine. We’re proud of all that.

That is the most boring video I've ever watched. It also reminded me of the hardest class I've ever taken.

Thirty five hundred dollars for a torso? might need to look into this biz.

Ok. That body parts link is totally new information. I thought hot nurses from Greys anatomy would admire my penis. Need to rethink this.

I thought about putting it in the “help” forum, but probably funnier here. I’ve taken a liking to the idea of donating my body to science when I croak. Anyone looked into this? Do they cremate you later or what? I guess they don’t embalm you, so no stinky corpse in a box for the after party? Ive always hoped for a weekend at Bernie’s situation. Thoughts?

Jumped the gate at night and Pissed on aggy goal post as part of hell week “scavenger hunt “ There’s a picture of it somewhere.

Alright, lots of driving stories. Here’s a Mexico spring break story. 16 years old, Honda Prelude, fake ID, little to no money, like a hundred bucks each. 1994 The players: me - outside line backer AC - inside line backer Carr - corner back Johnathan -safety. We decide to go to Matamores and Padre for some MTV style fun. But there’s no way any of our parents are going to let us go. So we make up some BS about staying with someone’s mom at their vacation house. We make a one hour appearance at said moms house in Galveston to call home and let our folks know we’re alive. This was not our destination. We get to Padre and hit the beach and fight or fuck whatever showed up in front of us. Still no where to stay. We sleep four deep in my Prelude near the beach. (There’s more to this that includes a fist fight between me and Carr) We wake up and do a Mexican shower in a McDonalds bathroom. More beach day. We finally and randomly find one of our cheerleaders who’s mom actually did have a beach house. (We didn’t know this ahead of time). We get some real food and a night in beds. Alright, so now it’s time to venture across the border, but here’s the kicker. Cheer chick insists on coming with us and bringing her little sister and her friend. Sister and friend were 13. (No touchy no rapey) So we roll 8 deep in my Prelude to Brownsville. Everyone is drinking and throwing beer cans out of the windows and sunroof. Suprise! We get pulled over by highway patrol, so I pull over at a gas station because everyone has to pee. Kids exit like a clown car and I get a field sobriety test. Friends are reading havoc inside the store. Somehow the cop let us all load back up and keep heading South like we were about to be Mexico’s problem. Which we were. To be continued…..

I was a young catastrophe adjuster (property) in Fairfax. I apply my 28’ ladder to a brownstone house, but it is short of the parapet wall and just below the soffit. I decided to muscle up over the parapet wall and inspected the roof. My decent was much worse. I look over the wall and I can’t even see my ladder at all. I lean way out and finally see the feet of my ladder. I used some chalk to mark where it is. Then I proceed to muscle down and dangle my feet until I feel something, also trying not to kick my ladder over. I find some ladder. Then I blindly trust my feet to find a rung. My arms are burning and adrenaline is maxed out. I get a foot set and continue to test for center of gravity while my arms are shaking. Now I gotta figure out how to get my hands on the ladder while leaning back/forward/perfect and take a couple blind steps down rungs until I can find the ladder with my hands, still blind. Made it. Holding the top of that 28’ ladder felt like heaven That’s up there with dumbest things I’ve done.

Is this where I write my autobiography?

Who else ya got? I've been listening to Dire Straits a lot lately.

Who's the best?

It's a lot easier to list the few things that I've done that aren't Texan. It's just a way of life from birth 'til death. Fight, win, fuck, repeat. And never back down.

I watch movies while I do computer work, so they can't be too good or complicated, and definitely no subtitles. I really just listen and look over once in a while. Maybe rewind if I miss something that looked important, like boobs or plot points. I suffered through some real stinkers yesterday on Amazon. Tiptoes. The Matador. Flesh and Bone.

That’s framed on one of my gallery walls

But I want this at my next event!

Yikes. That’s dumb.

Mom. She knows I got shit to do and no time for the meat sweats or gettin the sugas. That’s a football/workin bfst.

This thread is gold

I saw some titties

Spiderverse is drugs. Take drugs if you want, but watching it is like taking drugs.

I'm curious how long it takes you to drink that?

Add vodka. Pretty Rad.