This. The words incalculable and unknowable come to mine.
This wouldn't be any where near my record, but freshman year me and my buddy road trip to Texas Tech Chili. We stop in Post and buy five 30 packs and 3 handles of Crown with no intention of sharing it.
The second night, I ran my shin into this concrete planter thing and it split my skin wide open. My girl says, "oh my god! you are actually bleeding pure Coors Light!". So we got in the shower to wash it off, which was fun. We couldn't find any bandages before passing out. I wake up with a gaping shin wound and major pain. I still I have a scar, but it looks like a mountain biking injury. Tech girls are wild and DTF. Especially if you knew them or their friends from high school.
I think my actual records involves a long day of pledge drinking, followed by dare-based drinking as I stumbled home to the Castilian. As in, "I can drink that hole bottle of Gold Schlager" in one pull. I probably should have been ambulanced out of there, but my "friends" just kept poking me with a stick to make sure I was breathing for about 36 hours. I think I missed 5 meal-plan meals, arriving at dinner the day after. Ouch.