I disagree. The chaos goes beyond the UPI and Coach's Poll:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College_football_national_championships_in_NCAA_Division_I_FBS
The only constant since 1936 is the AP.
My exclusion of everything else renders the entire effort precise and scientific, once the selection criteria is agreed upon.
Since you demarcated the UPI and Coach's Polls as the disruptors, lets examine your postulate.
Note that the UPI Poll became the Coach's Poll in 1991 when USA Today took over the poll.
Here is the list of split titles between the AP and UPI/Coach's polls since 1936:
1970 Nebraska was first in the AP poll, but third in the coaches poll, while Texas was first in the coaches poll and third in the AP poll.
1973 Notre Dame was first in the AP poll, but fourth in the coaches poll, while Alabama was first in the coaches poll and fourth in the AP poll.
1974 Oklahoma was first in the AP poll, but unranked in the coaches poll, while USC was first in the coaches poll and second in the AP poll.
1978 Alabama was first in the AP poll, but second in the coaches poll, while USC was first in the coaches poll and second in the AP poll.
1990 Colorado was first in the AP poll, but second in the coaches poll, while Georgia Tech was first in the coaches poll and second in the AP poll.
1997 Michigan was first in the AP poll, but Nebraska was first in the coaches poll.
To satisfy the CTJ Doctrine of Truth, we shall subtract .5 for the AP winner in all the split years and add .5 of a natty the UPI/Coaches winner from split years.
Doing so, the math now looks like this:
here's the list of wins for fbs with ancient ivy not included
number in brackets is tallied based on AP/BCS+AP/UPI+Coaches national titles are not split having a value of 1, split titles having a value of .5
1009 michigan (2.5)
973 alabama (12)
973 ohio state (5)
957 texas (3.5)
957 notre dame (7.5)
949 oklahoma (6.5)
939 penn state (2)
922 nebraska (4)
889 georgia (3)
880 usc (6)
873 tenneessee (2)
---
812 lsu (3)
806 clemson (3)
803 auburn (2)
786 west virginia (0)
786 aggy (1)
---
768 pitt (2)
763 florida (3)
761 georgia tech (.5)
750 syracuse (1)
739 minnesota (4)
736 army (2)
734 michigan state (1)
731 colorado (.5)
691 tcu (1)
681 maryland (1)
672 miami (5)
617 byu (1)
588 florida state (3)
with the satisfaction of CTJ's Doctrine of Truth, the remainder of the content from my original post remains unchallenged
there is a clear gap between #11 and #12 on the all-time wins list
21st century fans of lsu & clemson will obviously consider themselves helmet schools & they each have an AP title from the 20th century so whether they are in or out can be debated
however auburn, west virginia and aggy are obviously not helmet schools
tennessee is an interesting case
not a helmet school to me but they are the cutoff based on all-time wins
the list is neither a clean top 10 nor a top 12
the final bucket is teams way down the list of total wins but with at least 1 title
since aggy are clearly not a helmet school, inclusion of those teams below them in wins becomes subjective: how many titles = helmet school?
i'm thinking 800 wins AND 2 AP/BCS titles OR 3 AP/BCS titles is the criteria but i'll have to see that that list looks like - minnesota a helmet school?
regardless, we have TWO (2) TOP TEN HELMET SCHOOL WINS this year, both away from home
put it on the wall