Could not agree with this more. My oldest is incredibly bright. Consummate over-achiever and off the charts from a GT perspective. My middle son is severely developmentally and physically delayed. He'll always been in our care, and can't assimilate much in mainstream classrooms. My youngest (daughter) is sharp but not "gifted and talented" and will probably be the most successful one in the family, but that's a different topic.
We moved a few years ago for a number of reasons, but finding a school district that could meet the needs of all three kids, despite their completely different trajectories, was the biggest driver. As a parent, I think you have to know when to push the schools and when to back off. For my oldest son, we've told him to fend for himself (see post above). For my middle son, we've had to claw and fight to get him the resources he needs, and although our current school district is light years ahead of our previous school district, we've still had to fight to communicate his specific needs, battling typical barriers, and coordinating with doctors and therapists to ensure he has a consistent approach that gives him the best opportunity to succeed however that is eventually defined.
Our previous school district kind of scratched their head and said, "we're just not sure what to do with him". The current school district sets goals (however seemingly minor they may be) and ensures a consistent approach towards his care and education. But, even with a defined strategy, you encounter individuals who aren't on the same page, and when you're dealing with a special needs kiddo, you've got to fight for them every step along the way.
I think that advocating for your children is the right one in this instance. We advocate for our two "typical" kids by giving them the resources they need to fight their own battles. We advocate for our special needs son by strapping on armor and going to the front lines to fight for him.