Gooby

#MIGA and now I’m hungry

I hope they don't decrease the number of hashbrowns. I already feel somewhat short-changed by the four that come in each order, and I also understand that they're a side, but dammit, I love me some fried potatoes.

A $100B trade deficit with Mexico? Sounds like bullshit to me

I'm not sure I'm ready to say "autism", but very methodical and inflexible in his daily life. So yeah...probably.

If you could come up with some kind of official looking fence guy "license", that may seal the deal

You can't tell the man anything. Everything must be done by a professional. For example, when they moved we drove over and helped them with a bunch of stuff, and one thing I noticed that needed to be done was the dryer cord needed to be replaced, so we drove to Lowe's and bought one and replaced it while they were off doing other shit. Well, my mistake was not tossing the cardboard wrapper from the new cord in my car, because once he saw it he hit the roof. "You're not a licensed electrician and I cannot take chances" and blah, blah blah. He's right, I'm not an electrician, but my dad is a Master's Electrician who still holds licenses in 7 states and is pretty highly regarded around the area. I've worked summers and holidays and whenever dad's guys needed the help, so I can hang a light fixture or ceiling fan, replace a breaker and I sure as shit can replace a dryer cord. Nonetheless, once it turned to straight-up BITCHING at us for doing them a favor, we left, and I told my wife I would never volunteer to help him do ANYTHING again. The next day, he called an electrician to come and have a look at the dryer cord, because "it just CANNOT be right." The electrician told him it was right, but still charged him for 2 hours plus the service call. The highest irony of the whole thing was, the electrician who showed up on the service call was a pupil of my father's in apprentice school. We were through there a couple of weekends ago, and the wind had taken out a section of their fence...three posts had cracked and it was down. They're currently on a 4 month waiting list for a fence guy. I COULD fix it, but ain't no fucking way I'm volunteering.

My father in law is a worry wart by nature. He's always taken his cars to the dealership for even the most basic service. The upside to this is that he's bought nothing but Toyotas from Don McGill for the last 27 years, so he doesn't get taken advantage of any more than usual. They won't try to upsell him, I do know that. The old man drives a 2013 Tacoma, while my MIL drives a 2012 4-Runner with only 62,000 miles on it. The story takes a turn, however. They recently moved to Bryan, and in order to get to "know" the guys at the new dealership, FIL takes the 4-Runner to the dealership in Bryan and basically says, "this thing is 7 years old, there MUST be something wrong with it. We're away from the home dealership, so we're counting on you!" Well, those assholes basically red-flagged everything from the engine block forward. New timing belt and assembly, new oil pan and gasket, new radiator...the whole fucking thing. My FIL was particularly hung up on the radiator. I asked him if it was leaking and he said no. I said there was nothing wrong with it, then. But why believe me? $6,200 later and he doesn't have to sweat the radiator anymore.

Slam Dickpunch!

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1122873726276599809 Or term limits, you fucking dumbass

Here's a question: My mother posted some fake news dipshittery on Facebook about Nancy Pelosi having a "In God We Trust" sign removed from above the house chamber entrance. It's from this website, which clearly states that it is "Satire for Flat Earthers, Trumpsters and Y'all Qeada", yet she posts it as the God's honest truth. I feel that this is a problem with the olds...they just post whatever comes up without bothering to check if it's true or not, but I digress. Do you call her on this bullshit and tell her that it's fucking fake...which is the language that I am very tempted to use...or just leave her alone to spread her bullshit amongst her 48 followers?

Bill King gets the needle Wednesday night for his role in the 1998 killing of James Byrd Jr. Lawrence Russell Brewer got his in 2011. Shawn Berry...somehow...got life in prison and will be eligible for parole in 2038. I still remember how horrified I was when this happened. Seemed like it cast a pall on the entire state. Say "hey" to Russell when you get to hell, you racist fuck.

It's a home game for us. We could put it on HGTV and pre-empt Chip and Jo and aggy couldn;'t say shit about it.

How the fuck are those guys so calm? The A/C in my office kicked on while I was watching that and I about jumped out of my fucking chair

It's worth it

He sounded like he ran up a couple of flights of stairs before he read that

I gotta be honest. Melania's attractive and all, but association with the Dipshit In Chief puts her on the "I wouldn't want anything to do with her" list.

Someone should tell him

Donald Conspiracy thanks Tim Apple, while Ivanka Nepotism looks on

And it should ding every time...like when you get a correct answer on Family Feud

I don't care what anyone says. Lewinski could get it back then. Would (have)

Get the fuck outta here with this

Muh legs are sweatin', momma.

Not possible

Bringing up "muh terrorists" certainly worked for all of the mouthbreathers who are clamoring for the wall.

If anyone is capable of distinguishing prayer rugs from other rugs, surely it's rural New Mexico ranchers