This is a fair point. This broke my brain in a way I can't fully articulate. I'm still trying to understand it. I think it has something to do with our shared values.
Our government has been cruel since its founding, so Trump's cruelty isn't a new thing, it's just a different brand. Toddler law is horrifying and terrifying, but so are so many things we've done throughout our history. That's not an excuse or whatabout for horrifying policies, it's just a question of degree rather than kind. It's easy to settle into a quasi both sides cynicism.
This military thing isn't simply name calling, it's an open rejection of the foundational and remaining bipartisan values that we all tend to exalt: selfless sacrifice for the common good. Military funerals and cemeteries are meaningful because of the values they represent. Trump's statements are a plain rejection of these values. If you see Trump as a human-like manifestation of our national character, this is disturbing in different way than the kids in cages were.
They were far more cruel to the kids, but it represented cruelty towards an outsider or perceived enemy. Even if I don't agree, I can understand how a person might end up at that conclusion. But if my country doesn't even aspire to our own values any more, I'm not sure what to even do with that. I can understand the cruelty even if I hate it; this breaks my brain.
Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. I do know this aroused a very different kind of anger.