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Celery Man

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Celery Man

  1. Celery Man
  2. Celery Man
    The guy who just helped me at ace hardware said he was for damn sure not going to cast a vote for Roy Cooper. His boss told him Cooper isn't on the ballot and what's his plan because he's closing tonight. Guy said "oh is it today"?
  3. Celery Man
    corey booker just looking like a middle aged italian gym guy
  4. Celery Man
    never has a presidential candidate had faster access to dick pills and nazi legos on election night
  5. Celery Man
    “I would like this many tacos” *fans out $7* - me, high af at the campus jitb 20 years ago
  6. Celery Man
  7. Celery Man
    promo code CHILIS
  8. Celery Man
    Lfg grew up there and visit every so often. you can taste it in the air with the humidity
  9. Celery Man
    ok stupid question that I'm too afraid to ask at this point - I just saw a clip of JD Vance getting out of a car to go cast his own vote. Is Donald Trump able to vote in this election?
  10. Celery Man
    lol dicksville naoch
  11. Celery Man
  12. Celery Man
    Has anyone texted Roman to let him know about 🌶️’s?
  13. Celery Man
  14. Celery Man

    RIP Quincy Jones

    Celery Man replied to Derka's topic in Music

    Condolences to Rashida and if you need to find comfort in the arms of someone other than that nerd of a husband I stand ready.
  15. Celery Man
    do it
  16. Celery Man
    i was at a turn near the twenty mile marker for the city of oaks marathon (Raleigh) with my kids and a crowd of other cheerers-on waiting for my wife to run by. Everyone is screaming words of encouragement at everyone who comes by, hooting and hollering and holding out "power up" signs. Guy comes running in a red maga hat, and it was literally just the sound of birds chirping hahahaha
  17. Celery Man
    Mulaney and monkey - I’m on board.
  18. Celery Man
    Go for two
  19. Celery Man
    I guess I can go to sleep
  20. Celery Man
    Man I really need to sleep but I can’t
  21. Celery Man
    Fuck your tackle
  22. Celery Man
    I meant to do the gardening thing in the spring but I just ended up throwing seeds in the planter and wishing for the best. Expectations exceeded ( also the cherry tomatoes came back and are basically a weed at this point)-
  23. Celery Man
    yeah wtf, he just stopped
  24. Celery Man
    I'm doing the "the time that i grew up was the only correct time to grow up" but finding Space Ghost Coast to Coast on the 9" CRT TV/VCR combo in your friend's bedroom at way past when you were supposed to be asleep during a sleepover when you were 9 years old was magical and then the whole Tim and Eric era, I suppose starting with Tom Goes to the Mayor but straight into Awesome Show Great Job - perfect for college. every now and then i think of "your wife's new legal name is TARGUS TARGUS" and laugh and then Too Many Cooks, all the absurdity, and the current torchbearer for this type of comedy's coaching tree - Tim Robinson with I Think You Should Leave
  25. Celery Man
    Look at this absolute unit of an almost 11 month old. Ready to start on the offensive line for the Texans

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