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JMFP

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Everything posted by JMFP

  1. "But Mr.Biden, how are you so sure those were western provided ATACMS that blew up that Russian airfield? I mean they could have been from our factories 🤷‍♂️"
  2. One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact." But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files. From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant. Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire fought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters. The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?" "Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!
  3. I had this argument with our IT guys. It was decided early last year that we were going to use LastPass and they shut off all the web browsers' ability to save passwords on the corporate machines. OK. But big brother's stance was that LastPass is way more safer and secure than having your passwords written down on paper so stop writing all your passwords down and give them to LastPass. I work in a secured control room that requires a need to be here and a federal background check to have unescorted access, then everyone that does come in and out is logged and recorded by door cameras. I think my notebook of passwords in my desk drawer is less likely of getting broken into than any offsite third party's server.
  4. Russian backed illegal immigration is what this whole mess is about.
  5. Pay for CD's? Nah, not while Columbia House and BMG were around.
  6. Grape wine in a Mason jar Homemade and brought to school...
  7. Man I remember this one time I used to visit this one message board. I wasn't a fan of the team they focused on but I found it was a great place to get news about college football but it also had areas that were pretty funny, and some that were actually really useful. Then one day it turned to shit so I quit going there.
  8. But it's federal tax dollars so I helped too
  9. They've had it for a while: https://www.localprofile.com/community/why-prosper-texas-police-use-a-689000-vehicle-8990600
  10. Coke Zero ...w/rum or cheap bourbon.
  11. But what if it was a police dog?
  12. I think maybe they were looking for the tornado thread?
  13. I wonder if the four year eligibility rule will be challenged before long.
  14. Lane did it too
  15. I met Mary Poppins one morning at Disney World. Bitch we're on vacation, my kids can have whip cream and chocolate chips on their waffles if they want and IDGAF about the calories when it's going to be 90+ by noon and 95% humidity. They will sweat it off and be fine. Damn.
  16. When I was a kid we had a horse that would step on your foot on purpose when you tried to brush him. He was a jerk.
  17. Would actually be the perfect solution.
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