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Rockwell Torrey

Certifiably Surly
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About Rockwell Torrey

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  1. We are family, bro!
  2. Maybe we could get that fuck to apologize to Iran in Farsi.
  3. Tailored football jerseys for everyone!
  4. I played Duality by Slipknot at my wedding reception.
  5. How else is she going to get out of the fuckin’ bath tub? Ain’t no Chain Fall in the bathroom.
  6. The goats were eating everything so they brought in small children to hang with recruits during photo shoots.
  7. …and no one in the stadium to see it.
  8. Take that, Purdue!!
  9. You can leave the U, but the U never leaves you.
  10. Take the 6 early, put in a couple hours, get her an uber home, and then go back and bring the 9/10 home for the rest of the evening.
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