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nunna yo bizness

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Everything posted by nunna yo bizness

  1. Given her line of work I expect he's more concerned with all the other monkeys she spanks.
  2. Who's going to call the state hospital and let them know Phlegm is off his meds again?
  3. Ha, quite possibly. I was definitely Urban or bust so I may be heading back to my lean to in the Idaho wilderness until the next coach search or Sark proves to be the messiah.
  4. It was all in jest and no offense intended. Coaching searches can bring out the worst in us, myself included. I also greatly enjoy food and travel discussion so I'll have to explore those posts. I'm sure we probably share a lot more interests than not.
  5. Yeah, I know literacy pushes the limits of the average Surly poster.
  6. So, as I struggle to digest the events of the last couple days like Aaron Franklin trying to keep down a John Cornyn holiday brisket, I'm left thinking about what it is that I've learned through obsessively monitoring to a point of psychotic episodes investing an unhealthy amount of my life on the Urban or Bust thread. While the lessons learned are many and the knowledge gained considerable I thought it useful to summarize the most significant and transformative among them in the following notes. I think of this as an essential compendium to All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten. If Surly is a sporting underworld; a depraved, alcohol fueled, drug addled, sexually deviant underworld at that (no ifs about it), then @closetojumping is our Godfather, sitting in an oversized chair, legs crossed, arms on the armrests, sternly watching over our activity. Occasionally granting us brief treasured audiences to dispense a modicum of his knowledge of confidential dealings on a need to know basis, or a needed slap and admonishment to act like a man when we uncontrollably panic and whine over some non-event. It's all fun and games until someone learns a little too much for their own good and gets the dreaded "see your PMs" directive. I'm sure CTJ's consigliere, @SydneyCarton, would try to reassure us all that it's not personal, it's strictly business. I have no doubt that Urban would be ours if the UT admin had put it in CTJ's hands so he could have made Urban "an offer he couldn't refuse". By the way, am I the only one who hears Robert De Niro's voice in their head when reading CTJ's posts? Which brings us to @derpyhorndog. I can only assume this guy is either a CIA data analyst or a frustrated wanna-be air traffic controller. An enthusiastic worker with a keen eye for details, he's that poor soul who stumbles into illicit information he shouldn't have found and next thing he knows he's waking up with the severed propeller of his favorite plane in bed with him, followed by an extended disappearance only to finally reappear mumbling something about being busy with some "contract" work. @Nicole44 is one of those rare good-hearted souls that thankfully for us hasn't recognized that a girl like her shouldn't be in a place like this. She was without question a campus hottie back in her time and has provided much appreciated evidence that she is still a head turner. With infectious enthusiasm (we'll assume it's the only infectious aspect of her) she can be counted on to come hard with BDE every time she posts, and has posted enough pics to have also caused considerable hard BDE. One side note; if any of you bear the slightest resemblance to Panhandle fauna you are advised to avoid Nicole's family at all costs or risk your head being stuffed and mounted on the wall of her family's cabin, assuming they can find a few available square inches. I am convinced that true to his avatar @Hagbard Celine is an alien life form, though of the Vogon race. Either that or a public servant/government bureaucrat. Never mind that your family has experienced catastrophe, the world is about to be destroyed, or you want to post some secondhand coaching information, Hagbard will have none of that unless all the t's are crossed, i's dotted, three forms of picture ID are presented, and all forms are signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't let him read poetry to you. What can I say about @futureman? I could say nothing since like a lot of other posters here I have him on ignore, but unfortunately enough of you other fuckers quote this moron that he can't be totally avoided. Given that he appears to have contributed nothing positive to Surly throughout his tenure and is nothing but an insufferable worthless troll, it's beyond comprehension how he has achieved so much rep as to be far beyond crowdsourcing. I can only assume that in past threads of excitement and happiness that he received collateral pos rep without thought to the consequences. In that regard the best analogy for Futureman seems to be the STD that was the unintended consequence of a brief indiscretion that we are forced to live with as it periodically flares up at the most inopportune times in order to deprive us of small measures of joy. It's also possible in my opinion that he is just a sooner troll, but that's redundant with the STD so no further discussion needed on that. Have you ever been in paradise trying to enjoy thoughts of all the wonderful things around you but there's a damn horsefly buzzing around you that won't go away and keeps dragging you back to the reality that there is no paradise and your life actually sucks? That's @Errestaurants. A seemingly miserable curmudgeon who has no intention of allowing you to avoid sharing in his cheerlessness. In fairness though I can't completely hold it against him as I attribute much of his wretchedness to the likely abuse the poor little guy may have received in life given his diminutive stature. Without question one of the stars of the Urban or Bust quest was @RGBIII. When it comes to meat he is the man we all would like to be (no, I don't mean that meat). This guy apparently smokes and consumes an entire brisket every single day of his life. I have an image of him heading for bed each night deep in a state of meat sweats, frantically toweling himself off like Fatterson on the sideline of a mid afternoon early September game in Houston. Despite that, where RGB will live on in infamy is as the spark that caused the conflagration of the great boot toe debate of 2020. Can you call yourself a man in square toed boots? The debate will rage on, left for future generations to resolve. Oh, but if you need someone to shamelessly tweet at married women expressing his desire to share his meat with them (NO, NOT THAT MEAT. get your mind out of the gutter), then he's your guy. God bless that poor long suffering soul that is @immamac. He's like a creative wizard (that's a nice way of saying an unkempt, long haired, unshowered slacker) who creates a glorious high tech living space for like minded spirits. Unfortunately he made the catastrophic mistake of taking in a couple of stray cats and now he finds his wondrous creation infested with feral felines, shitting on his servers, coughing up furballs on his keyboard, and peeing in the corners. He now wanders this space in the futile endeavor of cat herding, fingers sticky from old McRib sauce, muttering to himself about how to monetize the piles of poop filled cat litter that the residents leave for him. @troph brought a different kind of energy to the Urban or Bust thread. She made clear that she was unable to provide the BDE that was being demanded, but instead more than made up for it by introducing us to BVE and brought plenty of it. She also encouraged us to open our minds and our anuses to new, exciting, and according to her, enjoyable experiences. Her rallying cry actually proved to be prophetic as when it was all said and done it felt like we had all been fucked in the ass by everyone from Urban, to the UT admin, to the "insiders". This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry troph. You get Sark After Dark instead of Urban. I can't agree with troph about the enjoyment, but it's become par for the course with our coaching searches so we must at least be getting used to it. And then there's a truly worthless poster, @nunna yo bizness. This guy contributes nothing worthwhile as he has no sources for information, brings no unique insight, and has no redeeming pictures of brisket or ex-girlfriend's tits. Hell, the guy can't even imbed tweets in a post. I'll be shocked if he ever posts anything of note on Surly. I suppose I should cut him some slack as I have been told by the voices in my head a reliable source that he has some condition called Multiple Personality Disorder, whatever the fuck that is. I'll probably never meet him, but if I did the one bit of advice I would pass along is to stop believing in tweets from squids and hip-hop basketball players, and trust in the administration to carry out the process of a coaching search (yeah, I can't keep a straight face on that last part either). My final learning from this whole episode is that I will now take great joy going forward in any football related misery that comes Urban's way. Whether it be a stress filled failed attempt at the NFL, having him watch our new coach take what could have been his team to the playoffs over the next few years (fuck off, I can dream if I want), or simply watching his coach worthy years and opportunities slip away while his legacy fades in the success of other coaches. Yeah, I'm a petty bastard. As for whether our new coach will bring us glory or misery, time will tell. Is he a rehabbed diamond in the rough who will take us to glory in short order, or will we find him pressing his butt cheeks to the mirror making us look at them, somehow?
  7. Outstanding. So now you can have that third bottle of wine and not feel guilty since you already thought you drank it.
  8. Yeah, he may need help restocking the liquor cabinet.
  9. So, one point of order on this. You seem intent on an apology thread without knowing if he legitimately had info that he was just passing along. If he shows some proof per your demands why does he owe you or anyone else an apology?
  10. It's about the schedule. Show me who on next year's schedule has had better overall recruiting classes the last 3 or 4 years. With the right coaches the talent should prevail. We've just gotten so pussified by years of underperforming coaches that we can't comprehend the concept of well coached talent consistently beating lesser talent.
  11. Yes, I know the PAC sucks. I don't expect to beat every team we play by 35 points, nor do we need to. I also didn't say to win the playoffs, just make it. We saw enough this season though, especially the last couple games, to know that with the right coaches we should be able to win the Big12 with at worst one loss and possibly none. Our three nonconference oppenents are ass my dude next year too (ULALA, Arky, and Rice) so there's no excuse not to win at least 2 and should be all three of them. Do those things and we're in the playoffs. No doubt in my mind UM could win the Big12 next year and run that noncon schedule. I won't lower my expectations to benefit an underwhelming hire.
  12. Big12 championship and playoff appearance. I don't give a fuck if you think that's not realistic. I know what UM would have been able to do with the talent that we saw in the Alamo Bowl and that is on the roster so I won't soften my expectations because our admin had to settle for a coach several steps lower.
  13. @closetojumping Without going back to reread old posts, as I recall is it correct to say you were hearing the Sark rumors for a couple weeks but were skeptical of them that we would have gone so far down the plan B list? I guess my big question at this point is are the BMDs happy with this? Did they want TH gone so bad that they are content to have shelled out probably $20 million in buyout money to get a guy that has no better track record than TH? Did they know when they were writing the checks yesterday that this is what they were getting, or did CDC pull a bait and switch on them and leave them with their dicks in their hands?
  14. I know that the recent consensus has been that Mullen is off the list, but if anyone still thinks it might be him, I just saw that he fired 2 defensive coaches today. Seems unlikely he'd be going anywhere if he's making coaching changes.
  15. Do you make it a habit of shitting in sinks?
  16. Honestly, whether we get UM or not, everyone on the tOSU side has been so cunty through this process (as if they own UM and they are such the epitome of jobs it's laughable to think he might consider ever coaching again) that I want to see their hearts ripped out again. The only reason I rooted for them against Northwestern is it served the purpose of getting to see massive aggy tears about the playoff.
  17. He posted the bullshit "just heard we're getting UM!!!!" message at the link below, I guess to teach us all a lesson about how gullible we must be for posting other sources. BOW I believe has been a nonbeliever so I take it as bullshit. BOWs Post
  18. I absolutely loved reading this book to my kids when they were little.
  19. Not sure if serious. He was telling you to put Fisterman on ignore because he's the worthless troll.
  20. When are the Brockermeyers committing?
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