DallasHorn26

I was at a book study retreat last week where we discussed various places the book uses the word “and” to join things that don’t link together for guys like me. “The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death. We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics.” I tried so many times to control or moderate but I did not enjoy it by any means. If I was enjoying it, I definitely wasn’t controlling it. One was always too many and one more was never enough. Once I began taking the actions, I have somewhat a fighting chance against taking that first drink so long I stay in fit spiritual condition and continue looking for the next man to help.

First of all, thank you for posting and I'm glad you went to a meeting. I had a bad taste in my mouth to begin with about AA. I always thought it was just a bunch of old men bellyaching about not being able to drink any more, but I've found so much more. My suggestion is to listen in the meetings, find a guy that can match your stories and sponsor up. If you have a book, start reading it from the Doctor's opinion. I thought for the longest time I had to address trauma and past hurts to be able to drink normally. I tried therapy, meds, you name it and yet I still drank the way I did. The doctor's opinion explains the allergy and the phenomenon of craving that baffles us and the ones around us. I can't speak for your father, but my biggest insurance against the next drink comes from helping others and that can come in many forms. These feelings/hang-ups you describe are addressed in the family afterward (ch 9) of the Big Book.

I was afraid of being bored in sobriety, or not being fun enough to those around me. Then I learned other's perceptions of me don't matter any more. That feeling of not being good enough for others is what kept me drunk. For the longest time, I didn't feel normal or accepted until I had at least a drink or 3 in me. That's great, but I didn't know how to stop at 3. I had to learn to accept myself and not care how others perceive me. At the end of the day, as long as I know I am continuing to do the right thing, it doesn't matter to me any more what others think. I've personally found a lot of fun in sobriety. I've been able to enjoy the things I used to enjoy while drinking in a different way (Sports, weddings, concerts, etc), and it's been great.

My wsm cruised along. Actually got up to over 500 at the grate after taking the lid off to foil and pan it. Cook time was around 3:20. Can’t wait to cut into it.

Thanks. I was thinking 3-3.5 hours. I’ve got the 18 inch but should be similar. It seems like last time I tried to run it hot, I couldn’t get over 275 but I didn’t open the door at all. I plan to fill the base with charcoal then load a full chimney on top, or should I do two chimneys? I’m aiming to leave my place around 12 or just before.

I've got a 19lber I'm going to do on the WSM. Gonna use the Franklin method. Taking it overt to a friends place around 12 to eat at 2 (will transport in cooler). Thinking I should be putting it on around 730-8 to pull on time. Does that sound about Right?

I never got to go as a kid, took my kids a few years ago and how sad it was. It’s like childhood dreams went to die.

I thought it was waffle shoppe?

I woke up the following day with 101+ temp, aches and chills after both rounds of moderna.

You can't just gloss over this fact. Please tell me some sort of Winnie Cooper fantasy was fulfilled.

What about Bedazzled, but maybe I just enjoy that for Liz.

PM Sent. I work in corporate accounting, but have been looking to build a small business client base up on the side.

As someone who is 5.5 months in, I was there not long ago. I struggled for the longest time to make it past 90 days and would reach a point where I convinced myself I could just do it every now and then or just for a few days then stop. Those times were short lived, and I was back at it full fledged. I think the paragraph at the bottom of page xxvii in the Doctor's Opinion describes it perfectly. “Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.” For me, it took the complete psychic change and getting out of myself. I heard a guy say in a meeting recently that you can start working any step that starts with a 1 at any point and for me that's what it took to get past that hump. At 6 hours sober, you're further along and can help a guy that's only 2 hours sober. My sponsor asked 3 things of me from day 1 1. Read at least two pages of the book a day 2. Call at least 2 other alcoholics a day 3. Thank my higher power every night if I make it to bed sober and when I wake up and ask for guidance to do it again My advice (at least what's worked for me) is to make those calls and find ways to be of service to others or your home group. Even a small task like taking out the trash or sweeping up butts at my homegroup provides relief from the bondage of self. I don't have all the answers, but I know following my sponsor and the guys ahead of me and doing what they do and trying to show it to the next guy has kept me in line longer than anything else I've tried on my own has.

Taken in Plano this week.

Taken in Plano this week.

I currently work in corporate accounting and finding myself with capacity to do some work on the side or during my off hours to pad my wallet a little bit. I've had a couple of small business clients in the past that came through word of mouth or friends/family. I'm hoping to grow that base a little bit and wondering if anyone had any advice on networking to small businesses or if any of you may need some accounting services?

Good place. I've met the owners a few time and they are solid people.

Chlorophyll, more like borophyll.

That's one of my favorite meetings of the week. My sponsor and I go to a meeting at the Dallas 24 hour club on Mondays that's a required meeting for the residents that have been there less than a certain amount of time (60 days I think). Most of the room usually has 30 days or less and it seems to be a new crowd every week. Several are fresh off the streets or out of jail.

I've been feeling a little anxiety and fear the past few days that I've had trouble shaking. Went to the home group last night and the reading was page 86. Made me realize how much I've slacked with my morning medication practices recently and that's probably what is driving those feelings.

I would look at Real Deal Sober living first if he's looking for nicer. They have houses in Plano and Richardson that start at $800 I believe. I stayed at the Richardson one last year and it held me accountable, required meetings, etc. There are lots of Oxford houses in the area too, but you have to be careful with them as some can just be flop houses. If he's looking for cheaper, the Freeman House could be an option. It has a good age mix, but can be a little rough as it's mainly guys fresh off the streets or out of jail. Some guys from home group take a meeting there every week.

https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/plano-house-explosion-may-have-been-intentional-officials/2688054/ It's my 500th post and OU still Sucks.

I live roughly a mile as the crow flies to this street and starting to think the thunder I heard yesterday afternoon may have been the boom.

My youngest daughter was adopted through private adoption. She biologically belonged to a relative and birth father whereabouts were unknown. At first, birth mother wanted to keep parental rights and my ex wife and I would just have guardianship. When we asked for child support, she voluntarily relinquished her rights allowing us to adopt. We also had to run an ad in the local paper seeking the birth father. The court automatically terminated his rights as he never came forward.