This is the worst fucking club ever. Was inducted at 2 AM this morning when I woke up with what I thought were gas pains on my left umbilical region. I rolled around for a few minutes to try and get out a fart....nothing. Figured maybe my stomach was wrecked from the red beans and rice and bourbon I had last night. Went and dropped a deuce and, again, nothing. Just a slow and steady climb from a 0 to a 6 over the span of like 30 minutes. Then, I went and drank some water, stretch a bit and, oh shit, the worst pain ever. Adrenaline kicks in and I'm shacking, writhing in pain in bed, and wake up my wife to tell her I need to go to the ER. We have 2 young kids, so the choice was either call an ambulance, call my folks who are about 20 minutes away, or drive myself. I opted for the more immediate solution and drove myself the 15 minutes to hospital. And man, oh man, if there was any cop on the street around 3 AM, I would have gotten pulled over, because I was hitting curbs and swerving like a mofo trying to drive while being double-over.
I finally get to the hospital and check in. I'm one of two people in the waiting room. They take my vitals and put in an IV, all while I'm grunting in pain. They asked for a urine sample and I basically just laugh and say not sure that's going to happen. She asks for a few drops, so I hop in the bathroom and, low and behold, I get a few drops...of blood. I hand it to the triage nurse and, fortunately, she takes pitty on me. She says she'll go back to the doc and ask for some Toradol to take the edge off. It takes about 20 minutes, but I finally get it and....I go from like a 9 to a 5 over 10 more minutes. The problem, I'm stuck waiting in the waiting room for like 2 more hours before they bring me back. By that time, I'm back at a 9 and it's shift change. So I wait another fucking 30-45 minutes to talk to a MD, who of course confirms that it's a kidney stone and says he'll send me for a CT and give me morphine. Huge sigh of relief coming. Except, the shift change fuckery delays the drugs by about 30 minutes. I get it...get the CT...kidney stone confirmed (4 mm -- proximal in ureter) and get told, "here are some pain meds and flomax..it will pass in a day or two weeks..good luck". Discharged around 11 AM.
And now, I sit..slightly fucked up on norco, peeing through a filter every 30 minutes with no stone. My pain at least is a 4-5-ish and the spasms are gone. So maybe it's passed. Maybe it's not. Maybe I still have some morphine on board. I don't know. This sucks. That is all