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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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About Scheiss Meister

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  1. I bet that no other TV series was responsible for employing as many bass clarinet players as The Twilight Zone.
  2. What time is aggy's playoff game again? Oh, right. I was about to hit submit when I realized that every Texas playoff game is their playoff game. They're just jumping loyalties to every team playing against Texas. So, never mind. It's the Cotton Bowl.
  3. Happy New Year, you Surly bastards. May 2025 be our Surliest year yet.
  4. Were they coca leaves? Who the hell steals any other kind of leaf?
  5. They would run them off. Mediocrity is the highest standard in aggyland. Nothing else will be accepted.
  6. I just can't wait to come to this thread after Texas wins the NC so that I can read all the folks bitching that Ewers didn't win it three days earlier or some stupid shit like that.
  7. Most of my life I've been told that the Second Amendment exists so that private citizens can resist oppression. When a private citizen exercises his Second Amendment right to resist oppression by a millionaire who made his millions by refusing treatment for thousands of people, the folks who originally told me that lose their fucking minds. I guess that they didn't mean that kind of oppression.
  8. Unless the other team figures out the frequency and zaps a couple of linemen while they're set. Recipe for false starts.
  9. Uh oh. They must have gone no lube on me, because I had nothing but air for almost 24 hours. I did learn to include some live culture yogurt or home fermented sauerkraut in a couple of meals after the procedure to help fortify the gut bugs. I didn't after my first one and had some gut trouble for a few days.
  10. Miz Long sounds kinky. I bet she's thought about shocking your junk.
  11. Post colonoscopy farts are the only farts in your life that you can absolutely trust. There's nothing left in there to make an oopsie.
  12. In October 2000 my dad, my brother, and I went camping at Lower Beaver Creek campground, just outside South Fork, Colorado. It was off season and we had the campground to ourselves. The squirrels had obviously been fed all summer by idiots who camped there, and were starving. When I cooked our meals I used one hand to mix, stir, etc., and the other to fend off demon squirrels, intent on stealing our food. It was highly annoying, and we all came close to being bitten. That guy isn't doing that marmot any favors by feeding it.
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