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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. But, more than that, I love to see it.
  2. Should have read "... NOT GUILTY of assault with a deli weapon."
  3. Damn, fighting in front of the Moon Pies in BassPro. Couldn't get much more redneck than that.
  4. I read that in Capt. Quint's voice. Much more entertaining.
  5. To be fair, a large percentage of the worst BMW drivers seem to have transitioned to Teslas. At least in my neck of the woods, anyway.
  6. What's the difference between a hedgehog and a BMW? The hedgehog has the pricks on the outside.
  7. fuckthisfuckingshit, or some capitalized and special character variation thereof, should fit the requirements.
  8. I'm stealing that.
  9. Damned if I would give my SSN to some masked asshole who stopped me on the street. Fuck that shit.
  10. I will admit to having more than one car that had a coat hanger antenna in the past. Ah, good times... I will also admit that mexican modifications often have more style and pizzazz than other redneck engineering. To your original point, though, one would think that a major manufacturer could come up with a more elegant, effective, and professional solution.
  11. Hey, hey, HEY!!! I'm from white trash, and we do those, too! Mexican's got nothing to do with it. It's redneck engineering, which knows no bounds of race, ethnicity, religion, or nationality.
  12. Anything is a dildo if a Ukrainian flies it up your ass.
  13. I don't know. From what I've been able to find out, those glasses are for totally colorblind people, who cannot distinguish any colors. I don't know how they work, but apparently they don't work for red/green or yellow/blue colorblindness. Which fucking sucks. CSB: I used to work with a guy whose dad was totally colorblind. When he (the dad) went into the Air Force, they made him an aircraft electrical tech. You know, where all of the wires are color coded.
  14. How could you tell? I'm so red/green colorblind that it hurts. So what color is her sweater?
  15. I have my grandma's chinois. I first remember seeing it when I was 5 or 6. We had picked a mess of wild blackberries, and she used it and an old pillowcase to strain the juice for jelly. She used it, my mom used it, now I use it. One day it will pass to one of my kids, I hope, and they'll use it.
  16. Marys Peak, Oregon. I looked uphill at my wife and thought that this made a nice enough shot on my phone.
  17. Yep, me too. My son, who lives in Waco, loves it. He has taken me by where he thinks this occurred, both of us laughing. Every time I see a Santa on a roof, I holler "I know, bitch. I'M THE ONE THAT FUCKING PUT HIS FAT ASS UP THERE LAST WEEK!" My wife loves it when I do that.
  18. And get as many out to vote as you can. If each of us can get two or three like-minded individuals who don't normally vote to get off their asses and do so, we can win.
  19. Speaking for myself, I haven't had any conflict with other Navasota folks. Yet. I don't spend a lot of time in Navasota, usually. Mainly I go to church there, go to Turner, Pierce, and Fultz (Ace Hardware store), and occasional trip to Brookshire's for the very few items I can't get at HEB in College Station. I really haven't mentioned politics to anyone other than a few at church, and they are generally like-minded. After being seen in the rally in downtown Navasota, I may get more pushback. We'll see. I'm not your usual small towner for the purposes of this discussion. We moved here when I was in my thirties, so I didn't grow up with anyone here. I've always been a loner and a home body. I don't have a social circle, so I don't really worry about offending friends. I'm retired, so my employment status can't be used against me. And, while I try to be polite and tactful, speaking my mind isn't a problem for me. I don't have much social capital to lose. I am in awe of those who were out there with me who do have social capital to lose, and still went anyway.
  20. I'm ready for one big, beautiful obituary.
  21. I wish that I had taken a picture of it, but I missed on the most "Surly" sign I've seen all day. A young man in his early 20s had a sign that said, "Hey, ICE!! Leave the big boody Latinas alone!" Made me think of this madhouse, and brought a tear to my eye.
  22. Well, her sweater IS maroon. What else would one expect?
  23. Yep. They won't be constipated for a while. I hope that they are shitting blood right now, if they aren't already dead.
  24. As for turning my phone off, leaving it home, etc., I have three brothers who are MAGA as fuck. They will beat each other half to death to be the one to turn me in if the "re-education" camps are opened. Big brother knowing I was there doesn't matter. Nope. Too pretty.
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