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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. The Ma Deuce will never die. It's practically perfect in every way.
  2. Since I retired I have become more adventurous in my eating, trying things like sushi (why did I wait so long to try that?) and other things I avoided before. I have almost universally found that I didn't know what I was missing, and should have branched out before. So I will try snails if given the chance, and have learned to appreciate well prepared eggplant. I've even overcome the trauma of the C-ration Ham and Lima Beans and learned to at least tolerate lima beans. But liver, sardines, and beets can fuck all the way off. Growing up I was forced to eat all three, but have not done so since I moved out on my own. Miss me with that shit.
  3. That's a real "Fuck you in particular" moment.
  4. The ones who could and did vote thought only about fucking over the ones who aren't eligible to vote, not thinking that the inevitable end of that course leads to them getting fucked, too. Oh, well..
  5. This right here is why you don't raise your children to believe that they can do whatever the put their minds to, especially if they're stupid. Daaaamn.
  6. Beat me to it.
  7. The fall makes me feel bad for her, but the funky chicken just before the fall kills me.
  8. Who hasn't ridden on a bike that they broke in half twice (at different places on the frame) and their dad welded it back together both times? Is that not normal?
  9. I just got a package of new underwear. It was in a zip-type resealable bag, with a hole it the bag so that you can feel the texture of the cloth to see if you like it. Why does an underwear package, with a hole in it, the very definition of single use packaging, have a zip-lock on it, while cereal packaging does not?
  10. I don't know about the whole mushrooms, but I'm pretty sure that the sliced ones wouldn't do at all.
  11. I now have an idea for what to do when I need to get away from the house for a while. That looks like fun. Thanks, @nnm!
  12. Bringing their cattle with them? What the fuck? Not to mention that he and his cronies shut down the very successful program that had screwflies bottled up in Panama. Does he think that insects don't cross borders unless they are smuggled? Dumbest bunch of motherfuckers alive.
  13. I want a journalist to ask Clinton if trump swallows or spits, just for the grin on ol' Bill's face.
  14. As was pointed out in January 2022 when Russia was building up to invade Ukraine: No one moves that much into place if they don't plan to use it. Lots of innocent Venezuelans are about to die. Some Americans will, too.
  15. I get my oak when I have to clear a dead or dying post oak on my place. I have one or two that need to come down in the next week or two. If you're willing to drive to Navasota, I'll share. My pecan came from a couple of trees that were damaged in a storm on my dad's place last year, and I am starting to run low. I need to find some more soon. My mesquite, which I need to replenish, came from the property where the city that I used to work for has a couple of water wells. I need to find out if I can go back out there and "help them clear" some more mesquite.
  16. This reminded me of when my son worked at a Schlotzsky's while he was in high school. He was a huge King of the Hill fan and could imitate nearly all of the voices very well. When he worked the drive-through, he would use his Dale Gribble voice while the customer was at the menu board/order point, then his real voice when they pulled up to the window. When someone would comment on the voice that took the order, he would shake his head and say, in his best Hank Hill voice, "That boy ain't right." It got him laughs every time, and occasionally a tip.
  17. Thank you, veterans. Each and every one of you rocks.
  18. That I am Surly's resident expert on wastewater treatment and shit in general.
  19. But, more than that, I love to see it.
  20. Should have read "... NOT GUILTY of assault with a deli weapon."
  21. Damn, fighting in front of the Moon Pies in BassPro. Couldn't get much more redneck than that.
  22. I read that in Capt. Quint's voice. Much more entertaining.
  23. To be fair, a large percentage of the worst BMW drivers seem to have transitioned to Teslas. At least in my neck of the woods, anyway.
  24. What's the difference between a hedgehog and a BMW? The hedgehog has the pricks on the outside.
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