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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. I don't know about the whole mushrooms, but I'm pretty sure that the sliced ones wouldn't do at all.
  2. I now have an idea for what to do when I need to get away from the house for a while. That looks like fun. Thanks, @nnm!
  3. Bringing their cattle with them? What the fuck? Not to mention that he and his cronies shut down the very successful program that had screwflies bottled up in Panama. Does he think that insects don't cross borders unless they are smuggled? Dumbest bunch of motherfuckers alive.
  4. I want a journalist to ask Clinton if trump swallows or spits, just for the grin on ol' Bill's face.
  5. As was pointed out in January 2022 when Russia was building up to invade Ukraine: No one moves that much into place if they don't plan to use it. Lots of innocent Venezuelans are about to die. Some Americans will, too.
  6. I get my oak when I have to clear a dead or dying post oak on my place. I have one or two that need to come down in the next week or two. If you're willing to drive to Navasota, I'll share. My pecan came from a couple of trees that were damaged in a storm on my dad's place last year, and I am starting to run low. I need to find some more soon. My mesquite, which I need to replenish, came from the property where the city that I used to work for has a couple of water wells. I need to find out if I can go back out there and "help them clear" some more mesquite.
  7. This reminded me of when my son worked at a Schlotzsky's while he was in high school. He was a huge King of the Hill fan and could imitate nearly all of the voices very well. When he worked the drive-through, he would use his Dale Gribble voice while the customer was at the menu board/order point, then his real voice when they pulled up to the window. When someone would comment on the voice that took the order, he would shake his head and say, in his best Hank Hill voice, "That boy ain't right." It got him laughs every time, and occasionally a tip.
  8. Thank you, veterans. Each and every one of you rocks.
  9. That I am Surly's resident expert on wastewater treatment and shit in general.
  10. But, more than that, I love to see it.
  11. Should have read "... NOT GUILTY of assault with a deli weapon."
  12. Damn, fighting in front of the Moon Pies in BassPro. Couldn't get much more redneck than that.
  13. I read that in Capt. Quint's voice. Much more entertaining.
  14. To be fair, a large percentage of the worst BMW drivers seem to have transitioned to Teslas. At least in my neck of the woods, anyway.
  15. What's the difference between a hedgehog and a BMW? The hedgehog has the pricks on the outside.
  16. fuckthisfuckingshit, or some capitalized and special character variation thereof, should fit the requirements.
  17. I'm stealing that.
  18. Damned if I would give my SSN to some masked asshole who stopped me on the street. Fuck that shit.
  19. I will admit to having more than one car that had a coat hanger antenna in the past. Ah, good times... I will also admit that mexican modifications often have more style and pizzazz than other redneck engineering. To your original point, though, one would think that a major manufacturer could come up with a more elegant, effective, and professional solution.
  20. Hey, hey, HEY!!! I'm from white trash, and we do those, too! Mexican's got nothing to do with it. It's redneck engineering, which knows no bounds of race, ethnicity, religion, or nationality.
  21. Anything is a dildo if a Ukrainian flies it up your ass.
  22. I don't know. From what I've been able to find out, those glasses are for totally colorblind people, who cannot distinguish any colors. I don't know how they work, but apparently they don't work for red/green or yellow/blue colorblindness. Which fucking sucks. CSB: I used to work with a guy whose dad was totally colorblind. When he (the dad) went into the Air Force, they made him an aircraft electrical tech. You know, where all of the wires are color coded.
  23. How could you tell? I'm so red/green colorblind that it hurts. So what color is her sweater?
  24. I have my grandma's chinois. I first remember seeing it when I was 5 or 6. We had picked a mess of wild blackberries, and she used it and an old pillowcase to strain the juice for jelly. She used it, my mom used it, now I use it. One day it will pass to one of my kids, I hope, and they'll use it.
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