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Scheiss Meister

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Scheiss Meister

  1. You can't be high all day if you don't start first thing in the morning.
  2. Looks like something my dad would have done.
  3. "And when he gets to heaven St. Peter he will tell one more Marine reporting, sir I've served my time in Hell." Semper Fidelis and thank you to every Soldier, Sailor, Marine, Coast Guardsman, and Airman who gave their life for their country and my freedoms.
  4. That batter should wear one in the ribs his next at bat. First pitch.
  5. That kid is going to have nightmares about that.
  6. A pussy ass aggy. But that's redundant.
  7. The fuck it's not. Maybe not #1, but definitely a road trip song. #1 should be Traveling Texas, or What I Like About Texas.
  8. Those fuckheads are testing to prove that the placebo works, not whether the vaccine does.
  9. That "Jack Boyett" dude is welded to his racism. He just can't fathom that Asian people can love sports and their alma mater enough to donate to both. Nope, all progress in any field is only because of the contributions of white males. Dumbass aggy.
  10. When your neighbor has a T-72 in his barn and all you have is a busted ass BMP-1, well, the envy can make a man take risks he wouldn't otherwise take.
  11. Three or four years ago I unknowingly mowed over a bumble bee ground nest. I was stung about 30 times on the head and shoulders before they started calming down and I got away. Bumble bees are normally very docile. Hell, even now, if one lands on me I'll pet it and they seem to enjoy it. But anything will get pissed off and attack if you mess with their home. I got sick as a dog and had to go to the ER. I now have an epipen to carry around, and three or four of the places where I was stung will form pustules from time to time. I was lucky that it wasn't Africanized bees.
  12. Almost. Ok, I believe you. But I like the finger version better. It reminds me of supper-time hijinks growing up with three younger brothers and limited food on the table.
  13. Never had brothers? Establish your presence and domination.
  14. I assume that you licked your finger first to establish dominance of and control over your custom concoction. Otherwise, why not use the silverware? Either way, using your finger is nasty, but if you are going to do something, do it all the way.
  15. That's an expensive water trough, but very, very cool. Nice lawn ornament, too.
  16. I was working on my mower deck this morning. Came in for lunch pain free and fully functional. When I stood up from the table, my right knee hurt like a son of a bitch as soon as I put weight on it. No twist, no pop, no weird bend, just pain. It hurt to walk on it, to bend it, and to straighten it out. It swole up and hurt the rest of the afternoon. I had to sit in my recliner and take acetaminophen. This evening it has loosened up, the swelling is down, and I can move around again. I have no idea why it started hurting or why it stopped. What the hell?
  17. Which surlster posts on TexAgs as BigPete3281? That is an excellent troll job. Well, entertaining, anyway.
  18. It's missing the "Kaboooong".
  19. The aggy softball team can still go to a super regional. They just have to buy tickets now. There's one scheduled 90 miles away that they can go watch.
  20. The more important question is why they're still alive, but that works well enough, I guess.
  21. Russia has said the same when the US authorized sending F-16s to Ukraine, the Brits sent their cruise missiles to Ukraine, Patriots were sent to Ukraine, etc. and not done shit about them. They won't do shit to Germany, either.
  22. They shouldn't have hired an aggy captain. Seriously, though, how the fuck do you not know whether you'll clear or not ahead of time?
  23. Those morons will go to great lengths to ignore reality. It's amazing and oh so funny.
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